Tuesday, August 12, 2008

The Adventures Of A Lame Duck President: The Prank Call

PhotobucketPoor George W. Bush... Despite a high-profile mini-tour of Asia over the past week (culminating in a visit to the Olympics to pay homage to his new overlords, er, support American troops - ATHLETES! - support American athletes...) he finds himself with more and more time on his hands as his advisers a) abandon the sinking ship of state like the rats they are and/or b) learn to say 'Barack Obama' without clenching their teeth like they used to while partying with George, back in the old days. Under the circumstances, leaving him unattended near an open phone line was not the best idea...

George W. Bush: Heh heh heh... (ring ring) Foreign phone. Sounds funny. (ring ring) Heh heh heh...

Pakistani Telephone Operator: Hello?

W: Uh... Yeah. Is this Islam-is-bad?

O: Yes, this is Islamabad. What number please?

W: So this IS Islam-is-bad?

O: We must have a bad connection. You sound just like that infidel sell-out to the West Salman Rushdie who should die in a hail of bullets when you say that. What number please?

W: Uh, I was just wondering... Is your refrigerator running?

O: No sir it isn't.

W: It isn't?

O: No. Thanks to rolling power cuts, the papadams my wife packed for lunch will go bad. (sigh) I guess another bout with dystentery is the fate Allah has chosen for me.

W: Well then, in that case, do you have Prince Albert in a can?

O: No sir. That is tobacco, a stimulant forbidden by the Koran.

W: I see.

O: We do, however, have Osama in a cave.

W: What? What was that?

O: Only kidding, President George W. Dumbass.

W: Aw, no fair! How did you know it was me?

O: Because you do this every week sir.

W: But I disguised my voice!

O: By impersonating yourself.

W: Dang!

O: Now if you don't mind, I'd like to keep this line clear. We're expecting a call from Kim Jong-Il.

W: Wait! What?

(click, brrrrrrrrr...)

W: Damn crazy Paki... Gets me every time. Heh heh heh...