Water Found On Mars

The Republican Party is said to be eager to find new ways to soil it, squander it, and sell it at an exorbitant profit.



[S O U R C E]
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The Adrienne Clarkson's Canadian Light Infantry?

Former Governor-General Adrienne Clarkson has been named Colonel-in-Chief of Canada's famous fighting squadron The Princess Patricia's Canadian Light Infantry, to replace the ailing Countess Mountbatten. Ms. Clarkson is the first Canadian and first non-Royal to hold the post.
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Careful! It's A Trap!

According to the fascist press, the Prime Minister is about to take the Conservative Party to the centre.

But there is nothing centrist about Stephen Harper or the Tories. Remember, this is the same Stephen Harper who admitted an admiration for the religious right in the United States, who takes his orders directly from the White House, who won't be happy until the entire country is run the way Alberta is run, despite the fact that the very word 'Alberta' is a joke in the rest of the country, and that good, decent Albertans know and resent people like Ralph Klein and Stephen Harper for making it so.

Stephen Harper doesn't want to take the Tories to the centre; he wants to drag all Canadians to the right, to drum up support to abandon human rights and shred our cherished Constitution. The laundry list of atrocities this troglodyte is responsible for is long and getting longer. The worst of it is, it's a matter for the public record, yet support for him is at an all-time high. If Canadian voters give him a majority mandate, I guess it's because they're at an all-time high of their own.

[S O U R C E]
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All Up In MySpace

Well, I finally succumbed and signed up for a MySpace account last week after reading in place after place where it might help to drive traffic to my blog. I was skeptical (I can't help it, I was born that way) but most of the blogs I follow also have MySpace accounts, so I decided to blindly follow the pack. I figured Hell, who gets more action than sheep?

It's too early to tell if it's working, but one thing is clear, it's certainly increased my email. Mostly I've been getting "friend" requests - from women too stupid to see the word GAY all over the thing. "I'd like you to bust my pussy" one of them said. I don't know what it said after that, as I'm still cleaning vomit off my new LCD monitor. Ladies, I can't help it - I was born that way!

If there's one thing I don't need, it's more emails offering me "more pussy than I'll know what to do with". For the record 1 is more pussy than I'll know what to do with, and all I'll do with it is take pictures of it to lure straight guys too horny to not need the real thing to get excited.

I suspect there are people who spend a good part of every day scanning MySpace for new members to harass. Er, contact. That's fine. I did accept one friend request from a cute guy in LA. He's not my type, but I figure "I'm already shallow, I might as well accept it".

At this point, everything is just blog fodder, at least until someone famous does something stupid enough for me to mock. Any second now, I know it...
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I Feel Dirty (And Not In The Good Way)

Note the cleverly photoshopped tear. This was necessary because tears are the hallmark of compassion, something this dinosaur never had.

In this the Republican party has preserved the legacy of Reagan. In every other way I hope the current political climate brings about their massive, irrevocable oblivion. Everybody repeat after me: impeach Cheney, impeach Cheney, impeach Cheney...
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On Sale March 20th: Maude!

Yes, that's right! The trailblazing sitcom starring the incomparable Bea Arthur is finally coming out on DVD.

When I was a kid this show was considered racy, but I was allowed to watch it; afterwards, if I had any questions, my grandmother would offer to answer them. I never did really, except I once wanted to know why they had to have Adrienne Barbeau's boobies flopping around all over the place; that one made my grandfather laugh.

I know what I'll be watching next week.
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Stardust Now Just Plain Dust

[Development is the only gamble that doesn't favour the house.]

This from the New York Times...
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Richard Jeni's Death Officially A Suicide

[The full story...]
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Cat Head Theatre - Hamlet

This is one of my all time favourite YouTube videos. It has been viewed over 1.6 million times, and once appeared on "Good Morning America".
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War: Atrocity Begins At Home

In Canada, during the Great War (as WWI was known prior to WWII) it was common for the female relatives of men serving King and country on the battlefields of Europe to hand white feathers to young men they saw on the street. The white feathers symbolised cowardice. Whether the men were unfit for, exempt from, or opposed to war mattered little to these judgemental bitches.

Thankfully we live in an era in which things like that don't happen anymore.

Now we have decorated former combat troops being assaulted, most likely because they served. Of course, we don't know for certain (except second-hand) what his attackers' motives were; it could even be jealousy. Nobody knows what history there might be between these men, especially living as they do in such a small town, except the men themselves.

I was raised in a military family. I have seen the military up close. I am not unconditional in my support of the troops.

But neither do I condone this sort of behaviour. As if this poor young man hasn't suffered enough (even though it was his choice) he now has to worry that anytime he goes to the bar he might get a conk on the head and post-traumatic stress disorder.

Plus, only douchebags gang up on a guy four against one.

Whatever these unnamed men (who, since they're in their 20s, should not only not be offered the protection of anonymity, they should have their names and faces put up on billboards) were trying to prove, they failed to do so. Personally, I think his attackers should be sent to Afghanistan.

This is yet more proof that people should stay the Hell out of bars and away from alcohol. Also, rural Ontario is gross, war is bad, and don't hit people.

There. That should stir up some controversy.

[story via Seumas]
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Trouble In Japan's Imperial Household?

Empress Michiko was the first commoner to marry into Japan's Imperial Household.

Following her marriage, the then-Crown Princess was ruthlessly tormented by Empress Nagako, something which is largely unreported in Japan. When Michiko's own son took a bride, the Empress was reported to have said that she wouldn't be as hard on her new daughter-in-law as her mother-in-law had been on her.

Alas, Crown Princess Masako has not had such an easy time of it, even with her lofty ally. The "failure" to produce a male heir, culminating in last year's debate over whether or not little Aiko should one day be Empress-regnant, has meant that Masako is now rarely seen in public; it seems life in the fishbowl may have gotten to the Empress as well.

That, and a new book about Masako subtitled "Prisoner of the Chrysanthemum Throne", seem determined to make for a very unhappy Kokyo palace indeed.

[S O U R C E]
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A Blanket Apology

To the gay male community of Vancouver:

I'm sorry I called you all shallow bitches for ignoring me all these years. 'Grotesque', 'repulsive, 'disgusting' and all those other names guys at PumpJack have called me, you're right, and then some.

Meanwhile, the quest goes on for a new official portrait to replace the one you see at the top left-hand corner of this page. As you can tell, I've just had a chance to go through the first batch of nearly 100, and none of them are even a little bit suitable, on account of my extreme hideosity.

Well, at least there's a bright side; this should help put an end to all the endless whining I do about being single...
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Sarah Silverman Pisses Off Christians

I don't know what she said or who's pissed off; really, it doesn't matter. All this means is she's doing her job.

These days Christian outrage is about as commonplace as... Well, as itself, since there isn't anything more commonplace than Christian outrage.

Anyway, I found the story on Defamer, so here it is.
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RIP Richard Jeni

I first saw Richard Jeni as the host of "An Evening at the Improv", the original "comedian in front of a brick wall" show, and often he was funnier than any of the guests.

His work did occasionally stray into the homophobic, which we must remember was still acceptable in the 80s and early 90s, but he was never as nasty about that as Sam Kinison or Eddie Murphy.

Now, it seems, he's committed suicide.

Details are sketchy at this early date as to what might have prompted this drastic action, but his profile has dimmed since he appeared in "The Mask" in 1994, save for a high-profile turn in "The Aristocrats" a couple of years ago.

Here's the story from "Entertainment Weekly".
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'Vagina' Unsuitable In Upstate New York

[H U H ?]
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What Am I Doing Here?

No, it's not just the title of a song by Blue Rodeo, nor is it merely a product of boilerplate existential angst. It's a legitimate query, asked over brunch no less, so you know how seriously I'm taking it. What's at stake might seem minor now, but I'd rather have a little sense of the path I'll be taking before I invest several years' worth of time and energy into taking it.

Bloggers must read other blogs to decide what they want to become, in the same way children model on adults until they develop the qualities they prefer and that best suit them, so that's what I've been doing. Some of the blogs I regularly read (Towleroad is a good example) are trying to emulate the best news sites, albeit with a twist (ie: an entirely gay focus). Some are sheer entertainment (Lady Bunny is the best of these). The rest fall somewhere between these two, with greater or lesser success, and most are little more than an online diary (which can be just as revelatory or transcendent as the greatest works of art).

Naturally, providing information and entertainment are two of my earliest stated aims. My zeal to please will often lead me to be outrageous when I should be compassionate, and vice versa. Being a centrist doesn't mean I can't also be a reactionary, and my desire to be everything to everyone may end up making me nothing to no one.

I suppose it's a risk I'm willing to take, since most people don't find out what they really meant to others until they're being eulogised, at which point it doesn't matter. I am, as are most people, complex, subject to moods, and entirely a product of my past. That I can't change the past pisses me off; that I can change the present so that years from now I'm looking back on a more pleasant past is what keeps me going.

Part of this process of inquiry is designed to add efficiency to my ambition; if I disguise it as a tendency to kiss my readers' ass, that is my prerogative. Mostly, though, I am serious when I say that when I decide to do a thing I want to do it better than it's ever been done before. Otherwise, why bother?

After each new milestone like the recent one I go back to the beginning and reread the whole thing, every single word. I enjoy a brief moment in which I feel proud of myself for having done what others have done every two seconds for the past two years - that is, to start a blog. Then, before I start to get an ego about it (or worse, complacent) I set about how I can do it better, reach more people, and use this as a vehicle to achieve my own life's goals.

In some cases, I have already identified my niches. I may discover others, or tire of the ones I've got, but the time for change is now, at the start of the learning curve, rather than later, when the brand is well-established.

That means I've decided to stay in Vancouver. Not only is Vancouver underserved by things such as this, none of the ones I've read even bother to put Vancouver into its correct world context, which I am willing to do. Also, there's no other city in the world where I would be so ignored by so many people so much of the time that I would be able to sublimate myself to the degree necessary to make this undertaking successful.
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Congratulations Kenneth J. Harvey

The Newfoundland author recently won $15,000 from the Writers' Trust for his book "Inside".

This award is a marvellous vindication for Mr. Harvey's work. While other Newfoundland authors like Michael Crummey, Lisa Moore, and Michael Winter seem to scoop up most of the critical glory (not to mention hogging the limelight that glory gives off), Kenneth J. Harvey has been quietly and diligently surveying his corner of the CanLit landscape for the past 20 years.

"Inside" is a thrilling book, which I finished reading in about three sittings just after it came out in last fall's publishing cycle. It tells the story of a Donald Marshall-like man, wrongly imprisoned for years, and his struggle to cope with life (both his new one and the old one that got him there).

[S O U R C E]
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Meet Disney's Newest Princess

And her name's Maddy!

And the story's set in New Orleans!

Oh yeah, and she's black!



[S O U R C E]
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Congratulations Anna Lo!

Recently elected to serve South Belfast in the Northern Ireland Assembly, and the first ethnically Chinese person elected to any such office in Europe.

[S O U R C E]
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Three Candles by Marc Chagall

And three candles as well for the Pop Culture Institute! This is my 300th post. As for how I feel about that, ask me a couple thousand posts from now.

In case you missed it....

200th post (23 FEB 07)

100th post (03 FEB 07)
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RIP Harriet Nahanee

[In Memoriam]
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Follow-Up: Olympic Flag Stolen

Credit for stealing the Olympic flag from in front of Vancouver's City Hall was claimed today by the Native Warrior Society. They did it, they said, to honour the memory of their elder Harriet Nahanee, who died shortly after being detained in the recent Eagleridge Bluffs fiasco that also saw warrior Eco-granny Betty Krawczyk sentenced to 10 months in prison.

Reaction to the theft was typically patronising. I say, let the Premier who is without criminal record cast the first stone.

[Reaction from the fascist media...]
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Jeff Wall Showing At MoMA

[Check it out...]

After my recent visit to the Fred Herzog show at the Vancouver Art Gallery I wandered into the gift shop, mainly because the two guys working there were so hot I wanted to get a closer look.

On the way in, though, I spotted a small book entitled "Unfinished Business: Photographing Vancouver Streets, 1955 to 1985". Since street photography is one of the motifs most recurrent in my work, I figured: "Why not pick it up?" So I did. Funny, when it comes to spending money I rarely need more encouragement than that.

The book was produced for a show at Presentation House in North Vancouver in 2003, a show which in a lot of ways created a debate about the past (and therefore the future) of Vancouver's streetscape, skyline, and other public spaces. It contains the expected amount of artspeak, so the reading was heavygoing in spots, but generally lucid. (All I need to do is see the word semiotics and my eyes lose all focus. See? There they go.)

Jeff Wall was one of the contributors to that show, and the one whose work impressed me the most. I also find his writing on the subject the clearest, though alas not entirely jargon-free. (Again, just a pet peeve of mine.) The book (as well as his work) is nevertheless a valuable addition to the city's emerging self-awareness. Hopefully, as this self-awareness creates a world-class city out of Vancouver, Jeff Wall will be here to ease our emergence with his insights.

(That is, if we can get him back from New York.)

[More about Jeff Wall...]
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Republican Confesses Hypocrisy

He just doesn't apologise for it. Or admit it, either.

Good old Newt Gingrich, guardian of morality. Dumps wife #1 when she has cancer, then cheats on wife #2 while getting all bent out of shape over the President and Monica Lewinsky.

It's time the Republicans changed their mascot from an elephant to a pig, I think.
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Scenes From A Recent Sunrise

This is a milestone picture; it's the 10,000th picture taken with my Fuji since I bought it last April 12th. Appropriately it's of a sunrise more vibrant than any sunset. Vancouver has a few such sunrises every year, but these are the best pictures I've gotten of the phenomenon yet. I feel as though the sun has yet to rise on my career, but given the timing of this omen I'd say the best is yet to come.




I don't often frame vertically, and I don't know that I like the result here because of that. Though as a study of City Hall its at least interesting.




The city and the sunrise and a tiny piece of Broadway.




The same shot with a more traditional pose for Broadway.




Sunrise reflected in the windows of Vancouver General Hospital.
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International Women's Day - Queen Rania

(Ah, twice in two days: it's Rania-riffic!)

Jordan's Queen Rania wants to know what you're doing to empower women in your community.

Good point. We hear all these words like 'empowerment' being bandied about, but how many of us know what they mean?

[S O U R C E]
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Snug As A What?

The tolerances of my camera's macro settings are very delicate, but I think I managed to capture the rather pale ladybug tucked up inside a miniature daffodil.

Spring is here!
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An Act of God?

A batch of new dollar coins came rolling out of the mint in Phildelphia missing their inscriptions (both 'In God We Trust' and 'E pluribus unum').



[To find out more...]
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King of Jordan Calls for Peace

Addressing a joint session of Congress today, Abdullah II called for greater US leadership in the quest for peace in the Arab world.

Alas, George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Condoleezza Rice, and William Gates (aka The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse) aren't in either body. Still, it's a nice thought, and it gives me a chance to publish a photo of the lovely Queen Rania and her moderate, Western-allied husband.

[S O U R C E ]
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HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

[What's so funny?]
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Duchess of Cornwall: Now Uterus-Free

How odd that, on the same day I finish reading Sue Townsend's passably funny new novel "Queen Camilla", her real-life counterpart should be in the shop for a tune-up.

Such is life. And her, just back from United Arab Emirates, kicking up a fuss over a few li'l rubies just days ago.

We here at the Pop Culture Institute wish Her Royal Highness every haste in her recovery, and breathe an extra sigh of relief that yet another barrier to reproduction has been afforded the honeymoon couple.

[S O U R C E]
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An Entire Country Says 'Duh!'

Christian Chavez, a popular Mexican pop star, has come out.



[S O U R C E]
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George Michael To Re-Open Wembley

Say what you will about his horndog tendencies and/or pharmacological mishegas, on stage is where George Michael really delivers. It's rare that I see a live performance of someone's that's better than the studio version, but George Michael is it all the way.

So it's a tremendous (though, in my opinion, fitting) honour that he gets to help christen the new 90,000 seat venue on June 9th by playing the first concert there, though it may take him a couple of weeks to get around to servicing all the men's washrooms.


[B B C]
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The War on Macro-Terrorism

Well, it's high time somebody did something about this. It's too bad it's my old nemesis Gareth Kirkby who is, but he's at least somewhat better than no one.

When I lived in Ottawa (I believe it was the late Cretaceous period) I wrote a couple of times for the gay paper there, which at that time was called GO Info. It was sponsored by what was then just plain Gays of Ottawa. In fact, GO INfo was the first paper to publish me, and I still have nightmares about my editor there, one Gabriella Goliger.

We had an awful time in those days (1989ish) getting retailers to carry the paper; it would seem, then, that nothing has changed in my nation's capital. GO INfo was superseded by Capital Xtra and they're still having the same problem.

Of course, even here in super-tolerant Vancouver, Xtra West paper boxes are the most damaged of all. I frequently find them propped open so that the papers inside will be destroyed by rain. Despite my prickly relationship with Xtra West I always repair their boxes when I find them like this.

One of the things I'm going to do once I'm getting paid to produce this site is to stake out the ones most frequently targeted and catch some motherfucker in the act and have him arrested, take his picture getting arrested, and schmear his face and name all over the Internet as a warning. Unless it's some homeless guy.

You know, it's all very easy to see terrorism as a big event - a car bomb, say - and feel there's nothing we can do about it. But terrorism is also a hundred little things, such as this. Preventing people from finding community and accessing information that is pertinent to them (but otherwise unavailable) is what I like to call macro-terrorism, and it needs to stop too. Fortunately, individuals can stop macro-terrorism, so let's, shall we?

[S O U R C E]
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Esther Goes For The Whole Megillah

This is either a) a tired old married couple trying to put some zing back into things with a little role-playing, b) just a normal day around Madonna's house, c) Purim at the Kabbalah Center in LA, or d) a little bit of each.

Yes, here's Madonna in a costume she pilfered from the set of "Bloodhounds of Broadway" and Guy Ritchie, wearing something one of his wife's best gays must have left behind.
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Finally, Some Good News

How does one select "a jury of his peers" for an actual Peer, anyway?

Well, we're about to find out. Jury selection began today in the trial of Conrad Black, who for years used his company Hollinger Inc. (and its shareholders' money) as his personal ATM, mainly because his sense of entitlement is so vast it has its own postal code. This loathsome tyrant spent a few years coercing the Canadian media into making him our own Murdoch, until he decided he'd rather be Lord Black of Crossharbour instead, and off he went to hump the scotch-soaked wool sacks at Westminster.

In his defense, his biography of FDR is phenomenal. It's so compassionate I've often wondered who really wrote it.
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Al-Qaeda's War Against Civilisation Continues

There have been so many bombings and so much destruction in Iraq I find it hard to make it through the day if I have to think about it, so I end up shutting most of it out. I realise it's selfish, but I've grown accustomed to paying the rent, and sitting on the sofa weeping over hundreds of dead people I would have never met anyway kind of interferes with that.

The war has so far been a blur of stock footage and the vaguely recalled soundbites of a thousand recorded arguments, and I would reduce it even further than that if I could. But this is too much to ignore.

This was not a random thing, but a pointed act. As powerful a thing as the printed word is, our ability to read it is even more so. These animals are attacking that very thing, striking at the very soul of every human being.

I wonder if there were any copies of the Koran in this book market. Surely blowing up the words of the Prophet ought to disqualify them from receiving their 72 virgins or figs or whatever it is they get.

[S O U R C E]
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Beaver Fever Sweeps The Bronx

These jokes are too easy, even for me.

Seriously, though, if I may be permitted to wag my finger...

In a lot of ways we as a species seem determined to wipe the Earth clean of everything but bugs and rocks; in the meantime, some of the changes we've already made seem to be making it possible for other animals to return after long absences.

Now, if only there was a way we could do whatever we've been doing, just a lot more...

[The New York Times]

The man we have to thank for this is Representative Jose Serrano, of New York's 16th District.
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Queen Bea Visits Turkey

No, she didn't go to the White House; the actual country of Turkey.

The visit has various geopolitical ramifications: Turkey's been pledging the EU for years, and a little hospitality like this plays well on the world stage. Also, given how many Turkish guest workers there are in the Netherlands, and with a rising tide of violence both in and from these (mostly Muslim) communities, it doesn't hurt the Hague to play nice either.

Here's what the Turkish Daily News had to say; if you so choose, you can chase it with a little something from DutchNews.

PS: Her Majesty's birthday was on 30 January; a belated Happy Birthday Ma'am.
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Weekend At King Peter II's

What is it all of a sudden with dead people that no one wants to bury or leave buried? In Anna Nicole's case I could see, because the toxicology analysis of her was on par with Woodstock, but His Majesty's been dead since 1970.

Well, if it helps them in restoring their monarchy by giving people a place to flock to, I guess I'm all for it.

[S O U R C E]
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Full Moon Tonight

What a better time than tonight to debut my full moon banner, although technically this is a picture taken of a New Moon, and technically it was also part of an earlier post, "Experimenting With Banners" and it was not taken recently.

Hey, what do you want? It's the weekend, and it's a well known fact that there's no news on the weekend, at least not since Britney shaved her head.

The whole week has been weird, and now I know why. The last week she waxes is the same week as my manstrual cycle (ah yes, the elusive and little discussed male period). This explains everything.

Plus, there was an eclipse today, not that I could see it, as it is overcast heree in Vancouver, but also because I don't believe it was to be visible in North Ameroca at all. Still, the moon is a lovely thing to see with or without celestial phenomena.
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Stephen Colbert: Man of the Year

So says the Aspen Comedy Festival, and I couldn't agree more.

I loved him in "Strangers With Candy" and then on "The Daily Show".

From a brilliant turn at last year's Correspondent's Dinner to the kind of pop culture accolade that accrues when you become an ice cream, the longer Stephen Colbert's cultural moment is, the better it gets.

[S O U R C E]
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Poet. Queer. Spy?

I first "met" Auden, in the pop sense, when one of the first gay books I ever bought was about his relationship with Chester Kallman. Called "Auden in Love", and written by Dorothy J. Farnum, the book made an indelible impression on me of the man himself.

His was quite a scandalous life, although he seemed to take the being gay part of it pretty well in stride, which for those days was a considerable feat indeed. Together with his childhood friend Christopher Isherwood, he seemed to defy the limitations society imposed upon him as a despised minority by being totally blase about the one thing most people hated him for, and instead of letting that destroy him he turned it into art. His life meanders through postwar Anglo-American letters like a silver thread, and his occasional guest appearances in my daily work (such as this one) help keep me connected to the idealistic young queer poet spy I used to want to be.

[S O U R C E]

Or to find out more about W. H. Auden...
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Adoptalina Jolie At It Again

I don't get it.

First she gets an Asian one, then she gets a black one, then she has a white one, and now she's going for another Asian one, this time from Vietnam. You mean to tell me she spent all those months in India making that Mariane Pearl movie and she didn't bother to complete the set? If I were Indian I'd be a little peeved.

Oh well, adoption's always a good thing, and who knows? She might get around to a brown one eventually. Plus she's never even gone near a First Nations baby, not yet anyway. Clearly she has plenty of good adopting years ahead of her.

I only hope her career holds, or else she's gonna have to make a Hell of a lot of Lifetime movies to care for them the next time Brad Pitt decides to trade up. Maybe she and Mia Farrow can open a little sweat shop together.

(I'm sorry. That was meaner even than the rest of this. Of course, I could just delete it, but I'm so sick I also find it funny, so I won't. Blogging, my friends, is a worse compulsion than you can imagine.)

[S O U R C E]
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Beeb Inks Deal With YouTube

So it looks like the BBC's genius goes beyond the programming sphere; someone over at Broadcasting House has an eye for new media as well.

This, of course, is the first inkling of the YouTube of the future, where individual sketches, monologues, and scenes from your favourite shows of all times (plus new favourites in the making) can rub shoulders with amateur clips of guys getting hit in the nads and, of course, loads and loads of kitties and puppies and kids.

[S O U R C E]
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R.I.P. (At Last) Anna Nicole Smith

Remembering, of course, the woman died on February 8th. I know that tabloid TV (you know, CNN and that lot) would have liked to keep it going for a full month, but let the woman rest already. You created her, you hounded her, and now you've feasted on her remains. It's time to let dead models lie.

A villainous estranged mother, a baby taking custody of a corpse, a handful of babydaddies (including Zsa Zsa's husband), a crying judge with a syndication deal... What a long, strange trip it's been (someone said once, probably Jerry Garcia after a car trip on acid).

So who's up for Act II of "Dead Like Anna"? Anybody?

[S O U R C E]
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Giuliani Invokes Reagan

[Photo by Doug Mills for the New York Times]

Rudolph Giuliani, on the campaign trail today, tried to invoke Ronald Reagan. He mentioned him a dozen times in his speech, but that didn't seem to work. Well, of course not; for invoking Reagan you need three virgins and a bucket of fresh goat's blood. You use the goat's blood to paint three upside down pentacles then slaughter one virgin over each sigil.

Guh! Everybody knows that. Maybe, if he asked nicely, Karl Rove will show him how it's done.

On second thought, let's never speak of this again.

[S O U R C E]
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A Public Display of Affliction

Not ten minutes after my contretemps in London Drugs, with half a Blenz medium sliding nicely into my gullet as a consolation, I was about to cross the street when out of the corner of my eye I saw Terry. I turned quickly and hoped he hadn't seen me. I remember thinking, 'With any luck he'll think it's someone who looks like me rather than me and I'll be safe'.

Then I remembered: that kind of logic doesn't even work in sitcoms. Shit! I was gonna have to steel myself up to talking to him. I heard him call "Hey!" and ignored it. I mounted a last-ditch escape attempt and in my zeal to get away from him I nearly ran in front of a number 9 bus. That's where he caught me.

Terry is a very cute guy I've known casually for about five years. I see him about five times a year; three or four of those I manage to avoid him. The last time was nearly a year ago now.

If you were to describe my type, you'd come close to describing Terry. In addition to the hotness (honestly - so much it really should be continued on a second guy, preferably me) he's smart and he's inexplicably friendly to me. I say inexplicably partly because of the whole Gay Men Hate Me thing, but partly because he came from such an unfriendly crowd. Yet here he is again.

Terry: Haven't seen you in a long time.

Me: Yeah. Keeping a low profile. I almost didn't see you today, either, the way that bus was driving.

Terry: Yeah, I woulda had to leap in front of it to save you. (He paused for a beat, then said:) You're looking well. Really good.

Me: You look just as good as ever.

Terry: Thanks. (He smiled with his mouth closed. I knew I'd better be careful now, because if his teeth make an appearance I'm a goner.)

Me: What are you doing over here anyway? (Terry lives in the West End, and West End gays never leave their precious ghetto even when they most ought to.) You crossed a bridge and everything. Pretty gutsy for a West End guy.

I was teasing and he took it as such. He smiled at me again; this time it was like someone made a copy with the lid open. A tiny piece of me (although definitely a bad piece) died when he did.

Terry: Yeah, I do lots of things I'm not supposed to do.

Me: So, are you working around here?

He gestured vaguely in the direction of the hospital.

It was about a block from where he caught me to where we'd have to go our separate ways; all this walking and dialogue took less than thirty seconds, but felt like thirty minutes, and probably took 30 months off my life.

At the corner of W.10th and Heather we parted. I watched him walk away, his slender figure spryly crossing away from me. I wanted to vomit, that's how nice it was to see him.

For the next couple of hours I played the scene over and over in my head, kicking myself for letting him see me, for not mentioning my blog so we could stay in better touch, for all the stupid things I do, and did. Of course, if I'd have ignored him and run away I'd have been sick about that too, and the same if I'd told him about the blog.

Just about the only decision I made today with regards to Terry that I wouldn't have regretted was stepping in front of that bus, although I deeply regret admitting that. So you see my quandary. 99.99% of the gay men I meet treat me like dog shit, so that when the .01% who are super nice to me come around it takes everything I have to even orchestrate the awkward conversation we did have.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I'm not a well man.
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It Happened Again

Seeing as I have recently come into a little money, I am once again on the prowl for some more and better blogging equipment. I thought I'd try London Drugs on Broadway near Cambie, since it's near where I'll be working tonight. I entered and approached the Electronics counter; there were two men working there - an Asian guy and a blond guy. Not to be racist, but I went to speak to the Asian, not because I thought he knew any more about cameras than the blond guy, he just looked more helpful.

It was not to be. The blond guy got there first.

Blond Guy: Good afternoon sir, can I help you?

Me: Yes, I bought my current camera in April last year at London Drugs downtown. It's a Fujifilm S5200. I was looking to compare features with the Fujifilm S9000, but I don't see it here.

Blond Guy sighed and rolled his eyes, which should have been my clue to step away, or at least start laughing. I did neither.

Blond Guy: We've never sold that camera here, and I don't think they make it anymore.

Me: I see.

There was a long pause. So long, in fact, if it was on TV it would have been funny (like they sometimes do on 'Family Guy'). I had to do something, so I began admiring the S6000 which was in the display case.

Blond guy: (finally, with a sigh) I guess I can look it up for you on the Net.

Me: Thank you.

Then I stood and watched the second hand of the nearest clock whirl through 2 solid minutes while I, a motivated buyer, am ignored.

Finally I asked the Asian guy: "Are you the manager?"

He nodded. Even though he'd been standing there the entire time, and undoubtedly heard the entire transaction, he'd done nothing sooner to intervene.

Me: I came in here today as a business man looking to buy a piece of equipment for my business, and when I did I expected to be treated as such. Instead I get this guy's attitude.

Blond guy: (oozing with attitude) I did NOT give you attitude.

Me: I consider a heavy sigh and rolling eyes when I only asked a simple question to be attitude.

Manager: Sir...

Me: On second thought, I've changed my mind.

Manager: But...

Me: I think I'll go and buy this camera somewhere else.

And then I leaned in to the Blond guy and said: "The next time I want attitude like yours, I'll go to the Odyssey, thank you." The Odyssey is a gay bar in Vancouver, frequented by twinks of all ages.

The last I saw, he'd turned beet red, and there was an exchange of words between himself and the manager as I walked away.

So it seems that nothing has changed yet. I am still not entitled to being treated with respect by any gay men.
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Stunning Archaeological Find (Hint: It's Not Joan Rivers!)

[I found Hera's head! Okay, I didn't really. I was just trying to help.]

Okay, so while excavating an ancient city beneath Mount Olympus recently, archaeologists found both a statue of Zeus and a statue of Hera that they think are from the same temple. This would be startling, enough, as this sort of thing seldom (maybe never) happened. Worse yet is that ancient Christians had used this beautiful work of art to build a defensive wall, and it didn't work! Maybe they shoulda left it where they found it.

I shudder to repeat what I first thought when I read that scientists were looking for anything old under the crumbling ruins of Dion, but let's just say they included visions of Rene Angelil, and the way they danced in my head I wanted to get a melon-baller and gouge them out.

[SOURCE]
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Japan Calls Off Whale Hunt Early

[Image: "Sounding Whale, Labrador Sea" by David Blackwood].

* * *

I suppose there are 352 whales somewhere who owe their lives to Greenpeace tonight. Fortunately, Nature smiled, and reckless behaviour by the Sea Shepherd didn't cause a greater problem than it solved.

Chill out people, seriously. Remember, you can be part of the solution or you can be part of the problem. Stopping a whale hunt by causing an oil spill in Antarctica is not cool.

I say if Japan wants whales that bad they can start breeding them faster than they're killing them for a few centuries, until the whales are back to more normal population levels, maybe not where they were before nations like Japan (and Canada) participated so merrily in their wholesale slaughter (let's be real) but better than they are today.

Oh, and by the way, stuff your country did a long, long time ago doesn't always automatically qualify as culture. You don't see anyone arguing for their right to have a smallpox epidemic, do you? Our ancestors in the 19th Century CE did what they had to to survive, and we should be able to commemorate that without a death toll. If they didn't eat whale they sometimes didn't eat, and the more sometimes they didn't eat the more oftentimes they died. Where would that have left some of us?

Thanks in part to those whales, though, we have thrived; indeed, nowadays we are overfed. Yet from this satiety we've been able to invent synthetic versions of everything we once got from them, save their flesh as meat. And just think: if no one ever had it again, eventually no one would remember or even miss the taste of it.

The best way to give thanks for our survival then (as well as in the future) is to ensure theirs now by leaving the whales alone.

Read more, at Yahoo News while I try and get down off this magical soapbox the Debate Club must have left lying about.
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Oscar Night Bum Fight

Once again I'm torn. I have an interesting sequence of photos to show you, and I can't decide whether to present them comically or straightforwardly. I want them to be sincere, but need them to be offensive, in much the same way I want to be sedated, but need to be lobotomised.

I will therefore present them both. The serious story will appear above the photos, the funny one captioned beneath in curly brackets (that's how you know something's funny, by the way - curly brackets). They also make a cool beret for your winkie, to give him that Continental flair... Ooh la la! {; )

* * *

About three minutes into the red carpet coverage of the Oscars I heard an argument in the alley beneath my window, over the possession of a certain valuable item. Once the sound of it had drowned out Shrillapalooza, I went to the window to learn more.



{"That's my [Oscar] [Alan Arkin]!" "Fuck you [Eddie Murphy]! This is my [Oscar]."}

* * *

Naturally, things escalated, as they will do in a bum fight. Eventually the one not in possession of the cart tipped it over, which caused a certain lamenting by its owner, who was nearly pinned beneath it when it tipped. It was at this point I considered calling 911 to give Mr. 9/10ths of the Law his other ten. I mean, there was their privacy to consider, weighed against my own voyeurism and the fact that I just hate calling the police. This was a complex decision.



{"If I can't have it then neither can you. CRASH!" "Fuck you [Eddie Murphy]!"}

* * *

Following this altercation (not to mention the lamenting) Pushy comes back and helps Guy in Yellow put everything back into the cart. This fragile entente is doomed to failure, though, and once again the angry talk escalates. If Hell is, in fact, Other People now is when he all broke loose; Pushy struck the first blow but the defender quickly overcame him. Two minutes of drunken flailing ended in what looked like pilates in prison, complete with grunting and f-words.

A hundred people walked past this altercation as it grew, most on phones, and no one even stopped; now there were six on their cell phones, frankly a waste of 911, when one call would have been fine. Not that it mattered much anyway. Oh well, at least the police will have six accounts to work from and/or confuse them.

One minute later the police arrived, and by the time Ellen hit the stage it was all over but the cleanup.



{"[Alan Arkin] get the fuck off of me!" "Smell this [Eddie Murphy]!"}

* * *

Come to think of it, both of these were pretty offensive, on so many levels. Yikes!
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Vancouver's Newest Neighbourhood: Partialview

Definitely NOT from the developers who brought you Grandview and Fairview.
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"I Think She's Spotted Her Prey..."

Madonna, seen here at some charity function, awards show, or other such festival of self-aggrandisement, definitely puts the GRRR in Cougar. And about all I have to say to that is honey, whatever you are doing, just keep on keeping on.

(PS: Whatever you sucked out of Britney that time you kissed her? Y'might wanna give her just a little bit of it back. Girl need it real bad!)
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Who Said What Now?

Today, while on tour in the United Arab Emirates, The Prince of Wales made an off-the-cuff remark about banning McDonald's to reduce levels of obesity. Odd that such an experienced horseman should bollocks it all up and put the cart before the horse like that.

The only way to ban McDonald's is to stop going there, and the best way to do that is to make healthy food more affordable. Period. Obesity is on the rise because it is easy, and our entire culture rewards cheap and easy (just look at Paris Hilton - now there's a way to reduce anyone's appetite).

In other news from the Royal Tour, Camilla blah blah bloody great hat, blah blah. Blah, cutting ribbons, blah unveiling plaques blah, trying not to look bored blah blah.

[SOURCE: The Seattle Post-Intelligencer]
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The One That Got Away

I just spent an hour writing a post which I then deleted. It contained my real thoughts on many pertinent issues of the day. Which is to say my actual thoughts about the people and things in my life. About myself too, ooh, some terrible, wicked stuff.

Better out than in, they say; well I say a bit of each is nice too, if you can get a rhythm going.

It's very cathartic to write, mainly because it saves you from shouting such things in people's faces. Which, as fun as it is, shouldn't be. Plus, it can get you fired or punched (both, if you work where I do). Probably the most cathartic thing about writing, though, is when you hit that DELETE button and it all goes bye-bye. It's the ultimate act of letting go, especially when those words were hateful words. It's even better than shitting!

I made myself a promise in the last piece, to write until I started to laugh. Well, I wrote for 45 minutes while crying then re-read for fifteen filled with rage and then I deleted it. That gave me a chuckle. So I started this piece. Fourth line good, fifth line better, and a genuine laugh! By the time I get to shitting I can barely see the screen again, only this time the tears ain't bitter, they're sweet.

I know, I know, you're not supposed to laugh at your own stuff. Well, you know what? I'll laugh if I want to, I'm fucking hilarious. Plus, I'm the only one who gets all my jokes. That's gotta count for something.

The point is, I'm an overly sensitive person and I live in a brusque city. I'm also a mimic. I have an idea that if only I could find a way to reflect all the negative energy I seem to attract, rather than absorbing it, I might be alright. Something like a shield, or a mirror, or a lens of some kind...
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To-Do List For Today

1. Blog.
2. Take pictures.
3. Pet the cat.
4. Go for a walk.
5. Smile at your own reflection.
6. Give that smile to a stranger.
7. Watch children playing, birds flying, clouds clouding.
8. Feel less hurt, more love, and new life.
9. Act to eliminate negativity, knowing hope is the way.
10. Do these nine every day, do I make myself clear?
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Homophobia's Day in Court

This from Towleroad...

Anyone who says that the gay in "That's so gay" isn't the same as the gay that's used to describe me is a damn liar, and probably someone who says "That's so gay" as well.

I do feel bad for the little girl, though, to have to learn this hate where it's hardest to refute - in the home. Hopefully, as long as her parents don't decide to home school her, it shouldn't progress much past this, and maybe some of the damage done to her can be remedied as she moves up through the grades.
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Bad News For Seattle B-Ball Fans

This via Towleroad:

It seems the group that owns the NBA Supsersonics and the WNBA Storm are have donated heavly to an anti-gay organisation, which kinda puts the whole Tim Hardaway thing into perspective.
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Mexico To Protect Monarchs

[STORY]
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Helen Mirren Proclaimed Queen of Hollywood

No real surprises, as per usual this Oscar Night, except perhaps Alan Arkin over Eddie Murphy. Jennifer Hudson and Forest Whitaker (although floored by their wins) were almost as certain of theirs as Helen Mirren, who offered a tribute to and raised the statutette in honour of Her Majesty. Good on yer, girl!

And if Scorcese didn't win this year I was certain there would be a riot, so fortunately he did. I mean, he could have won by directing an episode of "Two and a Half Men" after the upsets of the last few years, most especially losing to Roman Polanski in 2002. It'll be interesting to see if his career takes off after this.

As for the host, what little stage time she did have was further eaten away when she decided to walk around in the audience, although the exchange between Clint and Spielberg and Ellen was priceless. "An Inconvenient Truth" did well, winning Best Documentary as expected. They had one of the evening's few surprises as well when Melissa Etheridge won for Best Song.

Meryl Streep looked like a high school art teacher chaperoning the prom, which was still less disconcerting than the resemblance between Etheridge and Senator Clinton. Nicole Kidman looking dangerously thin in vivid red, Gwyneth Paltrow proving she's a bitch by pulling off a colour as complex as coral, Cameron Diaz and Maggie Gyllenhaal both minus their necks, Penelope Cruz more than compensating.

Jodie Foster looked stunning in a blue/teal (probably Armani) and nice to see her too, as she's been keeping a low profile since the girls started coming out and doing so well. Diane Keaton also looked pretty smokin'. Add a Catherine Deneuve sighting and it all adds up to a pretty good Oscars, all told.

Although... I never would have thought the day would come when Clive Owen was the hottest man of the night. Don't get me wrong, he's pretty hot, but he was the hottest man there period tonight. Clooney and Daniel Crag, er, Craig looked pretty good, even Tobey Macguire did that hot mumbling thing he does. But Clive Owen was it.

And as usual the evening has come to a close with me looking like a hot mess, on account of I've been crying like a bitch since the red carpet.



[UPDATE: How could I forget Sacha Baron Cohen? Jewish and British, and rocking that tux like a gigolo. I guess because he wasn't a presenter his role in the telecast consisted almost exclusively of being that totally hot guy in the background that they should have been focussing on instead of constantly cutting to Jack Nicholson.]
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Has Christ's Tomb Been Discovered?

Find out here...
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TOP COP SHOCK ROCKS BLOCKS

Vancouver Chief of Police Jamie Graham (shown here at Pride Day 2006) announced recently that he will be stepping down as of the end of his current contract. As usual, the scandal-plagued VPD could not be reached for comment, as they were busy conducting the internal enquiry into who gets to ice him so he don't blab.

[F O T O : M S M]
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Happy 200!!

Posts, that is!
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R.I.P. Maricica Irina Cornici

[CNN via Seumas]
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