Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Happy Birthday Rosie O'Donnell

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketRosie, seen here looking slightly at a loss for words now that there's a gag order on her feud with The Donald, turns 45 today.

I've always loved Rosie, and I saw her first on "Star Search". At the time I can remember thinking "Look at the big dyke" and "What a loudmouth". Fortunately, I love loudmouthed dykes and the rest, as they say, is pop culture.

And good on you for coming out (yet again), this time with depression. Mary Poppins she ain't, but given her army of loyal fans (in which I am a Major) and given the help she offers, it'll take more than a philandering plutocrat to Trump this ace.
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Vancouver Police Department In Action...



...in this case, laying the smackdown on an apparently sober firefighter.

I say, kudos to the photographer. I've gotten the evil eye from cops just for taking pictures of grafitti. Anytime a cop comes within twenty paces of me I stop what I'm doing and stare at the sidewalk until they've passed. It seems that any movement enrages them.

[Amazing!]
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Thatcher: The Movie

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Yes, that's right. A film is being made about the former Prime Minister and the events surrounding the Falklands War.

No word yet if the film will be made by venerable horror producer Hammer, or if it will star Peter Cushing as the Iron Lady.
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Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Patriarchy In The UK



I first blogged about this issue on 2 January, and it seems that it's all coming to fruition tomorrow. Further to the last post, this is what we're up against. Maybe the bullies no longer smash our faces into the lockers or call us "faggot" in front of the teachers and get away with it anymore, but such behaviour is right beneath the surface of many so-called professional people, some of whom might be your coworkers and are likely your elected officials.

I'll be interested to see what the protest is like, and what (if any) the counter protest will be.

Stay tuned...
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Larry: The Other Kramer

I don't know where Larry Kramer goes for those decade-long stretches when he's out of the public eye, but I'd like to go there myself. Because whenever he comes back he comes out swinging, armed to the teeth with bitchery, and hits his intended target dead on. In the early 80s it was gay men, whom he excoriated with his novel "Faggots".

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketI've always regretted that gay men haven't had their own Malcolm X. As much as I admire our Dr. Kings, after literally decades of activism we are scarcely further on from where we were in the 70s. Oh sure, we have hate crimes protection (which police refuse to enforce) and human rights protection, which is similarly imperilled every time the electorate votes. More often than not, constitutions are being amended to exclude us.

No one has benefited from the generosity and tolerance of heterosexuals like me, since I cannot now nor have I ever been able to count on anything like community from my own kind. Forced into a missionary position, er, role among the straights I do what I can, not to blather on about why I deserve to be treated as an equal but by demonstrating same again and again.

"Who taught you to hate yourself?" These are the immortal words of Malcolm X; they were incendiary enough in the 60s when Malcolm X spoke them to blacks. But their brilliance is that they are infinitely relatable. In the case of gay men we know well enough, and it's time fingers were pointed.

[S O U R C E]
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Right On Maude!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketIt's 12:01 AM and I'm standing at the half-empty New Release shelf when two HMV employees emerge from whatever's behind those doors marked 'Employees Only'.

"Can I help you?" the female one asks.

"Maude." It's the only word I can get out. Having said it I try another one. "Please."

She turns to her coworker, who's so gay I wouldn't dream of talking to him myself. She says: "They're at the bottom of this stuff. Could you go grab him one off the shelf back there?" He nods but says nothing, so I thank her.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketWe make small talk for something like 78.32 seconds, when her coworker returns and hands me my prize. "Thank you," I say, smiling and looking him straight in the eye. Nothing.

But I'm so excited I don't even care. I rush to the till, then rush out of the store, slowing only when I pass the security guard at the door, lest he think I'm making some kind of mad dash. I am, of course, but don't care to have it interrupted by a flying tackle.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketI think HMV's policy of staying open until 1 AM on New Release day (Tuesday) rocks, and I will kiss their ass for it, as much as I will for their selection (vast), prices (competitive), and female/straight guy staff (friendly and knowledgeable). While waiting for "Maude" I was browsing their British TV section and suddenly I knew where all my spare money for the rest of the year was going.

But not until I've watched 22 digitally remastered episodes from Season One of... (drumroll)... Maude!
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Sunday, March 18, 2007

A Message From Her Majesty The Queen

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Today’s Commonwealth is home to nearly a third of the world’s population. Its almost two billion citizens come from so many faiths, races, cultures and traditions.

I think that one of the reasons for the success of this organisation is that it draws not only on certain shared values, but also from the principles and practices of everyday life, which can be observed day after day in the cities, towns and villages of our 53 member countries.

Over thousands of years, the very basis of community life has been the pooling together by individuals of their resources and skills. Rather than having to be good at everything, people were able to practise their own skill or craft. The lesson of community life is that to flourish we must help each other. To do this, there has to be a sense of fairness, a real understanding of others’ needs and aspirations, and a willingness to contribute.

Despite its size and scale, the Commonwealth to me is still at heart a collection of villages. In close-knit communities like these, there are beliefs and values that we share and cherish. We know that helping others will lead to greater security and prosperity for ourselves.

Because we feel this way, our governments and peoples aim to work even more closely together. And as individuals, we find that taking part in Commonwealth activities can be inspirational and personally rewarding.

In today’s difficult and sometimes divided world, I believe that it is more important than ever to keep trying to respect and understand each other better. Each and every one of us has hopes, needs, and priorities. Each of us is an individual, with ties of emotion and bonds of obligation – to culture, religion, community, country and beyond. In short, each of us is special.

The more we see others in this way, the more we can understand them and their points of view. In what we think and say and do, let us as individuals actively seek out the views of others; let us make the best use of what our beliefs and history teach us; let us have open minds and hearts; and let us, like the Commonwealth, find our diversity a cause for celebration and a source of strength and unity.

This is a thought worth bearing in mind as we gather on Commonwealth Day: we are a thriving community; we value our past; we make the most of our present; and we are working together to build our future. By respecting difference and promoting understanding, that future will be a better one for us all.
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Overheard At Sandhurst

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("Promise me you'll kick it before Gran does.")
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Meet George McWhirter, Vancouver's Poet Laureate

A surprisingly sensitive story from the mouth of the fascist press.

[S O U R C E]
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Department of Motivation: Saving the World's Endangered Languages

(MSM sez: My friend Doug is talking about starting a highly specialised blog about languages and linguistics. He even has a way cool name for it. It will rock. He could start a blog about procrastination, which is the only thing he knows more about than languages and linguistics. (Talk about the Pothead calling the kettle black.) We all have our challenges; if we're lucky the universe gives us friends to help compensate for them. Certainly he's kicked my ass more than once. Who am I not to return the favour? In the interest of the future happiness of everyone on the planet, I'm going to badger him into doing just that by providing extensive coverage of an issue that is dear to me: the preservation of linguistic diversity. This oughta get him.)

From: The New York Times
Date: March 18, 2007
Title: Chinese Village Struggles to Save Dying Language

Author: DAVID LAGUE

SANJIAZI, China — Seated cross-legged in her farmhouse on the kang, a brick sleeping platform warmed by a fire below, Meng Shujing lifted her chin and sang a lullaby in Manchu, softly but clearly.

After several verses, Ms. Meng, a 82-year-old widow, stopped, her eyes shining.

“Baby, please fall asleep quickly,” she said, translating a few lines of the song into Chinese. “Once you fall asleep, Mama can go to work. I need to set the fire, cook and feed the pigs.”

“If you sing like this, a baby gets sleepy right away,” she said.

She also knows that most experts believe the day is approaching when no child will doze off to the sound of the song’s comforting words.

Ms. Meng is one of 18 residents of this isolated village in northeastern China, all over 80 years old, who, according to Chinese linguists and historians, are the last native speakers of Manchu.

Descendants of seminomadic tribesmen who conquered China in the 17th century, they are the last living link to a language that for more than two and a half centuries was the official voice of the Qing dynasty, the final imperial house to rule from Beijing and one of the richest and most powerful empires the world has known.

With the passing of these villagers, Manchu will also die, experts say. All that will be left will be millions of documents and files — about 60 tons of Manchu-language documents are in the provincial archive in Harbin alone — along with inscriptions on monuments and important buildings in China, unintelligible to all but a handful of specialists.

“I think it is inevitable,” said Zhao Jinchun, an ethnic Manchu born in Sanjiazi who taught at the village primary school for more than two decades before becoming a government official in Qiqihar, a city about 30 miles to the south. “It is just a matter of time. The Manchu language will face the same fate as some other ethnic minority languages in China and be overwhelmed by the Chinese language and culture.”

(While most experts agree that Manchu is doomed, Xibo, a closely related language, is likely to survive a little longer. Xibo is spoken by about 30,000 descendants of members of an ethnic group allied to the Manchus who in the 1700s were sent to the newly conquered western region of Xinjiang. But it, too, is under relentless pressure from Chinese.)

[S O U R C E
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Sunday Funny

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Okay, so it's three years old. It's timeless. It's classic. It's timeless.

(Oh wait, I said that already. That's 'cause it's really timeless. Yeah.)
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Water Found On Mars

The Republican Party is said to be eager to find new ways to soil it, squander it, and sell it at an exorbitant profit.

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[S O U R C E]
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The Adrienne Clarkson's Canadian Light Infantry?

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Former Governor-General Adrienne Clarkson has been named Colonel-in-Chief of Canada's famous fighting squadron The Princess Patricia's Canadian Light Infantry, to replace the ailing Countess Mountbatten. Ms. Clarkson is the first Canadian and first non-Royal to hold the post.
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Saturday, March 17, 2007

Careful! It's A Trap!

According to the fascist press, the Prime Minister is about to take the Conservative Party to the centre.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketBut there is nothing centrist about Stephen Harper or the Tories. Remember, this is the same Stephen Harper who admitted an admiration for the religious right in the United States, who takes his orders directly from the White House, who won't be happy until the entire country is run the way Alberta is run, despite the fact that the very word 'Alberta' is a joke in the rest of the country, and that good, decent Albertans know and resent people like Ralph Klein and Stephen Harper for making it so.

Stephen Harper doesn't want to take the Tories to the centre; he wants to drag all Canadians to the right, to drum up support to abandon human rights and shred our cherished Constitution. The laundry list of atrocities this troglodyte is responsible for is long and getting longer. The worst of it is, it's a matter for the public record, yet support for him is at an all-time high. If Canadian voters give him a majority mandate, I guess it's because they're at an all-time high of their own.

[S O U R C E]
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All Up In MySpace

Well, I finally succumbed and signed up for a MySpace account last week after reading in place after place where it might help to drive traffic to my blog. I was skeptical (I can't help it, I was born that way) but most of the blogs I follow also have MySpace accounts, so I decided to blindly follow the pack. I figured Hell, who gets more action than sheep?

It's too early to tell if it's working, but one thing is clear, it's certainly increased my email. Mostly I've been getting "friend" requests - from women too stupid to see the word GAY all over the thing. "I'd like you to bust my pussy" one of them said. I don't know what it said after that, as I'm still cleaning vomit off my new LCD monitor. Ladies, I can't help it - I was born that way!

If there's one thing I don't need, it's more emails offering me "more pussy than I'll know what to do with". For the record 1 is more pussy than I'll know what to do with, and all I'll do with it is take pictures of it to lure straight guys too horny to not need the real thing to get excited.

I suspect there are people who spend a good part of every day scanning MySpace for new members to harass. Er, contact. That's fine. I did accept one friend request from a cute guy in LA. He's not my type, but I figure "I'm already shallow, I might as well accept it".

At this point, everything is just blog fodder, at least until someone famous does something stupid enough for me to mock. Any second now, I know it...
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Friday, March 16, 2007

I Feel Dirty (And Not In The Good Way)

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketNote the cleverly photoshopped tear. This was necessary because tears are the hallmark of compassion, something this dinosaur never had.

In this the Republican party has preserved the legacy of Reagan. In every other way I hope the current political climate brings about their massive, irrevocable oblivion. Everybody repeat after me: impeach Cheney, impeach Cheney, impeach Cheney...
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Wednesday, March 14, 2007

On Sale March 20th: Maude!

Yes, that's right! The trailblazing sitcom starring the incomparable Bea Arthur is finally coming out on DVD.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketWhen I was a kid this show was considered racy, but I was allowed to watch it; afterwards, if I had any questions, my grandmother would offer to answer them. I never did really, except I once wanted to know why they had to have Adrienne Barbeau's boobies flopping around all over the place; that one made my grandfather laugh.

I know what I'll be watching next week.
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Stardust Now Just Plain Dust

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[Development is the only gamble that doesn't favour the house.]

This from the New York Times...
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Richard Jeni's Death Officially A Suicide

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[The full story...]
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Cat Head Theatre - Hamlet



This is one of my all time favourite YouTube videos. It has been viewed over 1.6 million times, and once appeared on "Good Morning America".
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