A Very Different Mary Poppins

NSFW: No' Sui'able Fer Wee'uns

^{(Thanks to my Facebook friend Ryan Anning for turning me on to this. ~ MSM)}
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Paul Shaffer's Sidekick Has A Point

I have to agree with my buddy Dave on this one.
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Karl Rove's What?

It's everybody's favourite Bush-whacker, that pudgy little dumpling we lefties all love to hate... Yes, it's Karl Rove!

When I first read that he was retiring the other day, I hadda sit down. I remember thinking, it's not even close to April 1st. Not even he would be so cruel as to pull such a prank in the middle of August, with all the heat and such making it a real effort to fight back?

So I waited a couple of days.

Sure enough, it wasn't just something from The Onion, or a joke on The Daily Show gone horribly awry. Actual newspapers were talking about it. It was official.

Well, I'll be a monkey's cousin (anywhere but Kansas). The man responsible for the Intelligent Design of the Bush White House is taking his protective coating of executive privilege and going home to write a book. While the President is left alone to try and read one, or at least try to colour inside the lines.

We'll miss you, buddy. All the lying, the cheating, the stealing... Good times.

The image is one of my favourites. A couple of years ago, he made a hilarious guest appearance on American Dad, as himself. He showed a real flair for comedy; they even got him to do that trick where he turns himself into a bat. I mean, he usually only does that for his fraternity brothers.

(Two little known facts about Karl Rove that I discovered while "researching" this post: his middle name is Christian, and he was born on Christmas. Suddenly, the rest is becoming clearer...)
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This Should Be Good

For seven months now the Vancouver papers have been filled with the most ghastly, lurid evidence from the trial of Robert "Willie" Pickton, who stands accused of killing 26 women and disposing of them in the usual ways associated with the pig farm he owned. Even for the Province, which is nauseating on a good day, the evidence has been grotesque.

Yesterday the Crown rested; now it's the defense's turn. Now, someone has to defend why he had dismembered body parts all over his property. Heads in coolers, buckets full of hands, sudden trips to the rendering plant...

In other words, someone has the onerous task of defending the indefensible. They have to do a good enough job so that justice is served, but not such a good job that a monster walks free. Yet for all that Robert Pickton might say he wants to walk away from that court room, in the back of his mind he's got to be just a little worried that karma won't bite him in the ass.

Remember Fargo? Steve Buscemi in the wood chipper? Now, I'm not suggesting anything. I'm just saying, is all.
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Doin' The Cabinet Shuffle

Our intrepid Prime Minister (intre being French for stu, I guess) Stephen Harper isn't letting the dogs of summer nip at his heels.

Nossir, he's a-keepin' busy, protectin' Arctic sovereignty and shuffling that Cabinet of his'n.

It could be quite the square dance - and I do mean square! - except that none of them will allemande left. Square dance, ha! More like rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic.

Besides, shuffling a Cabinet is more like a rodeo than a square dance. Which is not to say that the Cabinet don't deserve a good roping, only that I doubt he's poke enough for those particular cows.

And as for his intentions towards our Arctic (the kid sister of Confederation), I'm not convinced they're entirely noble. It's a good thing she's frigid; as long as she stays that way.

I predict a disaster. On so many levels.
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RIP Merv Griffin

TV legend Merv Griffin - shown here with one of the many Emmys he won - died today. He was 82.

On the bright side, at least now he'll be able to come out.
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Rudolph The Bald-Faced Liar

The more I see of Giuliani the less I like of him. Apparently the International Association of FireFighters agrees with me; they decided it was time to call bullshit on "America's Mayor". So they made this video.

Enjoy!
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Congratulations!

Sara Gilbert, who for nine years was my favourite character on Roseanne, and who I never knew until this minute was Melissa Gilbert's sister (!), is welcoming her second child with her partner, Allison Adler.

Their son, Levi Hank, was born in October 2004, and now they've got a daughter, Sawyer, born August 2nd.

As usual, on a slow day in the blogosphere, count on TMZ to have an interesting story.
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What Is Wrong With This Country

You'll note, the title of this post isn't a question. Not even a rhetorical one.

Alvaro Orosco has applied for refugee status, fearing persecution in his homeland of Nicaragua if he's forced to return. Mr. Orosco is gay.

Too bad Canada doesn't care if gay men live or die.

He was recently ordered deported, and could be gone as early as August 16th. Given the media attention his story has been receiving, especially in Nicaragua, his life is already in serious jeopardy. Homosexuality is punishable under Nicaraguan law by up to four years in prison; the worst part is, that's the good news.

You could, if you are of the idealist, er, bent, email Immigration Minister Diane Finley. You could try bombarding her office with faxes, carry signs up and down in front of her office, or even make a calm and rational appeal to her better nature.

You could try just about anything. But let's face it, she's a Tory; homophobia's like mother's milk to them.

The only silver lining is that his blood will be on her hands.

[S O U R C E]
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They Tried To Make Her Go To Rehab...

...she said "No! No! No!"



She wasn't nearly as feisty when it came time to take Amy Winehouse to University College Hospital in London.

Ms. Winehouse is said to be suffering from "severe exhaustion". Partying round the clock will do that to a person.

The Pop Culture Institute wishes one of its favourite singers a full recovery; or at least full enough to squeeze out another album.
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Dems To Debate Gay Agenda

I thought it would be nice, for a change, to discuss a political issue (or, for that matter, any issue) and not be cynical. I'm not quite sure how to do that, so please bear with me.

It seems that all the major Democratic candidates for President are getting together to discuss gay rights. How momentous!

What great strides we've made since 1980, when Ted Kennedy and Jimmy Carter first discussed gay rights at the Democratic National Convention.

That first-class citizenship we're entitled to must be right around the corner.

^{(Sorry, that's the best I could do. It turns out I can also read the ingredients on a packet of soup mix and make it sound sarcastic. It's a gift, it's a curse...)}

[S O U R C E]
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Fit As A Fiddle?

According to his doctors (who only just completed the President's annual physical) the President is fit for duty.

Phew! It's a good thing the President's physical doesn't include a psychiatric profile. That would have been a close one.

[S O U R C E]
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Is The Matthew Shepard Act Doomed?

A hate crime is the gift that keeps on giving.

The White House today announced that it is the President's intention to veto the Matthew Shepard Act, a bill providing for the gay and transgendered victims of hate crimes. Anyone surprised by such an action clearly isn't from this planet, and should be rounded up by NASA and studied.

"The qualifications [in the bill] are so broad that virtually any crime involving a homosexual individual has potential to have hate crimes elements," said White House press secretary Tony Fratto, according to The Washington Times.

Yeah? So fucking what?

The President has never yet had a veto overridden, which is the last chance the Matthew Shepard Act has of passing.

Not that mere passage of a law means anything. Canada has an excellent hate crimes law, which in instances of crimes against queers has yet to really be tested, since police and the courts routinely refuse to enforce it.

The 2001 murder of Aaron Webster in Vancouver is just one example of the bigotry of Canadian justice. Not only did it take the Vancouver Police Department more than 18 months to make an arrest and, even though what had happened was clearly a hate crime, it wasn't prosecuted as one because the VPD refused to implement the correct charges. On the stand one of the presiding judges, Valmond Romilly, also refused to take the crime seriously.

One of Webster's four assailants got as much as 6 whole years in prison for committing cold-blooded murder, while for murdering Webster's dog he might have gotten eight.
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Smitherman/Peloso Nuptials: It's Official!

Ontario Health Minister George Smitherman married his boyfriend, Christopher Peloso, August 5th at Laurentian Lodge near Elliot Lake in northern Ontario.

News of their engagement was published on the Pop Culture Institute February 13th this year.

The wedding was small - about 200 guests - but what high-powered guests they were. The wedding cake was even made by a former mayor of Toronto. Even though he had been invited, Smitherman's boss Ontario premier Dalton McGuinty was unable to attend.

^{[Towleroad] | [The Toronto Star]}
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Princess Margaret: Rejected Regent?

Newly-released State papers reveal that prior to her coronation in 1953, the Queen changed her will to prevent her sister, Princess Margaret, from becoming Regent of England in the event of Her Majesty's untimely death. Princess Margaret would have been the nearest adult in the succession until Prince Charles reached the age of 18 in 1966.

The Queen's will is said to have favoured the Duke of Edinburgh for such a role, in the unlikely event that it would be needed.

Nevertheless, given the astonishing amount of travel undertaken by the Queen in the early years of her reign, not to mention the political timbre of the end of the Colonial era, every eventuality had to be anticipated.

Princess Margaret did serve as a counsellor of state during some of the Queen's travels, allowing her access to the fabled red boxes, from whence most of the Queen's paperwork emerges. She also met with the Privy Council, in addition to her other royal duties, in this role.

It appears that Margaret declined the role of Regent, and also that the Queen's own loyalty to her husband in this era (when he was still quite unpopular with the Establishment) may have motivated the action.

Naturally, there will be no further explanation forthcoming from Buckingham Palace.

[S O U R C E]
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How The Straight Media Covers Queer Events

I picked up this week's Westender mainly out of prurient interest.

See that little blurb there next to the shot of the very hot, oily guy? It says "How Can You Find Love At Pride?" To which I might add: how can you not pick up a paper with a headline like that, especially if you're a love-starved homo with a better chance of being killed by a meteorite?

Turns out the article in question is just a summation of the various Pride Day dances and parties. It's written by a gay guy, so I'll at least give the Westender credit for that. However, the gay guy in question is a little shitheel named Michael Harris. I've had many run-ins with him in the past, and none of them have been good.

He used to work at the gay bookstore, where his principal skill involved not serving me. He'd help the three or four people in line ahead of me, and then either refuse to serve me or he'd skip over me and help the person in line behind me. This happened at least half a dozen times, and only ended when I finally stopped shopping at Little Sister's because of it.

I realise the healthy thing to do would be to let go of this particular grudge. Only I don't want to.

The truth of the matter is, the only way to find love at Pride Day is to look like the hot, oily guy on the cover. The only one with the guts to speak the truth, it seems, is me.
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Another Proud Day in Vancouver

Most of my Pride Day coverage, understandably, is over at Self-Loathario. Consider this your warning.

Because of where my party sat, I didn't get many pictures. Had I taken any, they would have all had that damn 7-11 logo in them. But the thought of striking out on my own and spending the entire Parade surrounded by strangers was not an acceptable situation. So instead I sat surrounded by friends and just watched. It felt very safe.

As usual, Pride Day amazes me, and I think it's the sheer variety of people on display that has always amazed me most. I'm glad for them, mostly, that they can be so open and proud of who and what they are. I just wish I could.

Another of the great things about Pride Day is how it functions as a celebration to enable people to triumph over past hurts. We've all been viciously oppressed, and to some extent still are. Yet not taking it personally is a skill I've never developed. Whereas the majority of the revellers seemed to not care that there are untold thousands of people in this very city today who would gladly murder the lot of us, it's just about all I can think of; every time a balloon pops I find myself wondering who planted the bomb and where. Maybe it's time to get out of security and start trusting people again.

Anger borne of frustration is more or less my default setting. Generally speaking, I defuse it with humour, or try to. My success or failure in this depends largely on your sense of humour. It doesn't bother me, though, if someone doesn't find me funny, since humour is subjective. So why does it bother me so much that when it comes to that other great subjective - looks - I'm such a loser.

I guess we all want what we can't have.
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Ramones - "I Wanna Be Sedated"

Call it "I Need To Be Sedated" and it'll describe me even better, especially after my shameful display at Pride Day yesterday.

Nevertheless, I do enjoy the sedation, so either way it's an accurate anthem.
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1000 Posts: A Grand Day Indeed

Well, there you have it - me, on film. Not the kind of thing I care to watch, but you might like it. Not unlike Adam Sandler, C-Span, or foxy boxing to name just three.

Expect more of this sort of thing from now on, only hopefully I'll get better and better at producing it. Better lighting, better set design, and not so obviously reading from cue cards either. Plus puppets. Lots and lots of puppets.

Oh well, years from now the above clip should give me something to look back on and laugh about, which is what really matters in life, isn't it? No matter where we go, what we do, or who we're with, it's nice to have a bit of a laugh.

In the immediate future, though, is the daunting task of publishing 1008 posts between today and New Year's Day, which is a mere 148 days away. The last couple of weeks I've purposely stopped myself from posting items I wanted to because I was aware of needing some rest. I've also needed the perspective, to find my way forward. In both instances, I think I've found what I need.

The other task at hand is to encourage more participation from readers. This means comments, yes, and not just from the three or four people who always comment, either. Poor Mr. Gagne is busy with his own life; he doesn't need to spend an hour a day down the Comment mines, searching for the choicest nuggets to lob at me.

Since the only way I know how to elicit comments is to be outrageous, that's what I'm gonna do. I'm not fond of aggressive marketing, especially of myself, but I can see that this is also the kind of thing I'm going to need to do more of.

(That and not dangling my prepositions.)

Anyway, it's Pride Day here in Vancouver, so I'm off to attend the Parade and later to go dancing. You may rest assured that all the best of the day will appear here in due time, and any of the worst (if there is any) will be on Self-Loathario as soon as I can come to terms with it.

Happy 1000th post! It's as much your day as mine.
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Nancy Sinatra - "These Boots Are Made For Walking"

Fresh from the Swinging Sixties, one of the finest songs of the era. Performed by Nancy Sinatra and written by the late Lee Hazlewood, this song was one of my earliest fascinations; from the bass intro to the mariachi trumpets at the final fade, it's definitely one of the finest pop songs ever written.
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