Ryan Seacrest: The New Merv?

Seacrest out? Not yet. But he is In as the host of the television industry's annual gladhanding festival.

It was announced today that generic metrosexual and perennial closet case Ryan Seacrest will be hosting this year's 59th Annual Emmy Awards, scheduled to air September 16th on Fox.

In recent years hosts as diverse as Ellen DeGeneres and Conan O'Brien have handled the top job, and admirably. However, whatever artistic triumphs these two may have wrought, their ratings all but stunk up the place. For this reason the producers of American Idol have been brought onboard.

And this was the best they could come up with. This fembot with his fifty teeth and hair by Cuisinart. Yeah.

^{Hmm... No one knows why awards ceremonies are getting lower and lower ratings... Could it be because there used to be four a year and now there's four a week? Too bad I'm too smart to be a TV executive, huh?}