Adoptalina Jolie At It Again

I don't get it.

First she gets an Asian one, then she gets a black one, then she has a white one, and now she's going for another Asian one, this time from Vietnam. You mean to tell me she spent all those months in India making that Mariane Pearl movie and she didn't bother to complete the set? If I were Indian I'd be a little peeved.

Oh well, adoption's always a good thing, and who knows? She might get around to a brown one eventually. Plus she's never even gone near a First Nations baby, not yet anyway. Clearly she has plenty of good adopting years ahead of her.

I only hope her career holds, or else she's gonna have to make a Hell of a lot of Lifetime movies to care for them the next time Brad Pitt decides to trade up. Maybe she and Mia Farrow can open a little sweat shop together.

(I'm sorry. That was meaner even than the rest of this. Of course, I could just delete it, but I'm so sick I also find it funny, so I won't. Blogging, my friends, is a worse compulsion than you can imagine.)

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Beeb Inks Deal With YouTube

So it looks like the BBC's genius goes beyond the programming sphere; someone over at Broadcasting House has an eye for new media as well.

This, of course, is the first inkling of the YouTube of the future, where individual sketches, monologues, and scenes from your favourite shows of all times (plus new favourites in the making) can rub shoulders with amateur clips of guys getting hit in the nads and, of course, loads and loads of kitties and puppies and kids.

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R.I.P. (At Last) Anna Nicole Smith

Remembering, of course, the woman died on February 8th. I know that tabloid TV (you know, CNN and that lot) would have liked to keep it going for a full month, but let the woman rest already. You created her, you hounded her, and now you've feasted on her remains. It's time to let dead models lie.

A villainous estranged mother, a baby taking custody of a corpse, a handful of babydaddies (including Zsa Zsa's husband), a crying judge with a syndication deal... What a long, strange trip it's been (someone said once, probably Jerry Garcia after a car trip on acid).

So who's up for Act II of "Dead Like Anna"? Anybody?

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Giuliani Invokes Reagan

[Photo by Doug Mills for the New York Times]

Rudolph Giuliani, on the campaign trail today, tried to invoke Ronald Reagan. He mentioned him a dozen times in his speech, but that didn't seem to work. Well, of course not; for invoking Reagan you need three virgins and a bucket of fresh goat's blood. You use the goat's blood to paint three upside down pentacles then slaughter one virgin over each sigil.

Guh! Everybody knows that. Maybe, if he asked nicely, Karl Rove will show him how it's done.

On second thought, let's never speak of this again.

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