Thursday, December 07, 2006

Dear Santa...

I know, I know... It's been 30 years since I wrote to you last, but I don't know who else to turn to.

I'm not going to ask you for things -- I have enough things as it is, and I bought even more today. Nor am I going to ask you for anything impossible, like world peace, or a boyfriend.

All I'd like is that the 12 Tories who voted against re-opening the same-sex marriage debate NOT get those lumps of coal I ordered. Send them instead to the Liberals who voted for it. Oh, and any Bloc Quebecois or NDP who might have as well.

I'd also like you to send panties to Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears. Between them and the President I've seen more Bush than Sasquatch these past few years.

The only thing I really want this year is continued success in my life and career. I want to be a better person and a better friend and a better writer. I know you can't help me with that, I'm just saying is all.

Please give my best to Mrs. Claus, promise you'll honour the elves' collective agreement, and try and ease up on the whip Christmas Eve - for Rudolph's sake. There's no reason his butt has to be as red as his nose.

Unless that's what he's into.

All the best,

michael sean morris
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Much Whack-Ado About Nothing

See, this is why I should prohibited by law from writing about politics.

This morning, at the ungawdly hour of 6am, my alarm went off, and something compelled me to turn on the TV. Now, normally I only turn my TV on to clean the screen, or else watch DVDs (or maybe Saturday Night Live), so I don't know what moved me to do so today. When I did the morning news was on Global (aka Canada's Fox).

The fifth or six snippet was about the upcoming vote to re-open the same-sex marriage debate, and even Global admitted the measure was likely to fail. The only MP mentioned specifically in the story was Hedy Fry, who is my MP, and who supports same-sex marriage up the wazoo. Alas, personality-free news reader Lyn Colliar did not use the word 'wazoo' in the story.

So I guess that means the next time there's a political story gnawing at my craw I should write about celebrities instead. That'll be the secret sign for those in the know: whenever there's a story about showbiz for ugly people (politics), he writes about politics for bimbos (showbiz).

I will be publishing the results of tonight's vote as soon as I can get the Parliamentary website to give them to me. All in the interest of broadening the scope of this blog beyond my self-absorption.

(Even I have to say: good luck with that.)
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