Never mind that the greed of bankers has reduced the world's economy to a colossal Take-a-Penny tray, or that the entire world is gradually being sucked down the drain (at least according to cable news outlets); the most pressing issue in the world today is how American First Lady Michelle Obama touched - I mean, actually put her hands on! - the Queen.
Fortunately the leaders of the world's twenty biggest economies had already converged on London for the G-20 Summit, so they were able to put aside discussion of a global depression, various genocides both ongoing and impending, and how 6 billion of us should all go about committing suicide since it's pretty much over to tackle this vital issue. With any luck my eyes should stop rolling in about a week or so...
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