Thursday, January 01, 2009

Happy 2009!


It's that time of year again, when my best intentions brush aside the fly-like attention spans with which I've been known to use to put them into force, and engage in that annual ritual of self-delusion known as the writing of the New Year's Resolutions...

This year they are a streamlined version of the same ones I've always made - to seek more balance in my life, to work more and harder at this blog and all its concomitant endeavours, and to spend my money more wisely - but to these I would add guidelines that might make actually carrying them out possible. Guidelines such as ignoring the voice in my head that says none of it matters since I'm so ugly I don't deserve to live; after all, just because a voice in your head tells you something doesn't mean it's true, especially if it's not your voice saying it. For all my horror of the double standards of others, I realize nothing I hope to accomplish will be possible until such time as I also eschew those which have been self-imposed.

To my personal mantra of 'self-improvement at all times and at all costs' I will always be true, but it's time to add a proviso which every parasite knows by instinct: namely, that killing the host is counter-productive. Meaning I need to eat better, keep a cleaner apartment, and not just smile when I'm crying inside but because I'm crying inside. It also means apportioning the self-esteem generated by creating this blog into other areas of my life, so that if I should come face to face with any of my horde of Facebook admirers I won't hold them in contempt for their attraction to me as I have done in the past. As a strictly hypothetical example, of course.

Finally, I would like to reiterate my utmost desire that any success I may encounter not reside in me but instead move through me, and so allow me to do whatever I can to make that tiny portion of the world I encounter the best possible place...
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