Monday, August 13, 2007

Paul Shaffer's Sidekick Has A Point

I have to agree with my buddy Dave on this one.
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Karl Rove's What?

It's everybody's favourite Bush-whacker, that pudgy little dumpling we lefties all love to hate... Yes, it's Karl Rove!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketWhen I first read that he was retiring the other day, I hadda sit down. I remember thinking, it's not even close to April 1st. Not even he would be so cruel as to pull such a prank in the middle of August, with all the heat and such making it a real effort to fight back?

So I waited a couple of days.

Sure enough, it wasn't just something from The Onion, or a joke on The Daily Show gone horribly awry. Actual newspapers were talking about it. It was official.

Well, I'll be a monkey's cousin (anywhere but Kansas). The man responsible for the Intelligent Design of the Bush White House is taking his protective coating of executive privilege and going home to write a book. While the President is left alone to try and read one, or at least try to colour inside the lines.

We'll miss you, buddy. All the lying, the cheating, the stealing... Good times.

The image is one of my favourites. A couple of years ago, he made a hilarious guest appearance on American Dad, as himself. He showed a real flair for comedy; they even got him to do that trick where he turns himself into a bat. I mean, he usually only does that for his fraternity brothers.

(Two little known facts about Karl Rove that I discovered while "researching" this post: his middle name is Christian, and he was born on Christmas. Suddenly, the rest is becoming clearer...)
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This Should Be Good

For seven months now the Vancouver papers have been filled with the most ghastly, lurid evidence from the trial of Robert "Willie" Pickton, who stands accused of killing 26 women and disposing of them in the usual ways associated with the pig farm he owned. Even for the Province, which is nauseating on a good day, the evidence has been grotesque.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketYesterday the Crown rested; now it's the defense's turn. Now, someone has to defend why he had dismembered body parts all over his property. Heads in coolers, buckets full of hands, sudden trips to the rendering plant...

In other words, someone has the onerous task of defending the indefensible. They have to do a good enough job so that justice is served, but not such a good job that a monster walks free. Yet for all that Robert Pickton might say he wants to walk away from that court room, in the back of his mind he's got to be just a little worried that karma won't bite him in the ass.

Remember Fargo? Steve Buscemi in the wood chipper? Now, I'm not suggesting anything. I'm just saying, is all.
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Doin' The Cabinet Shuffle

Our intrepid Prime Minister (intre being French for stu, I guess) Stephen Harper isn't letting the dogs of summer nip at his heels.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Nossir, he's a-keepin' busy, protectin' Arctic sovereignty and shuffling that Cabinet of his'n.

It could be quite the square dance - and I do mean square! - except that none of them will allemande left. Square dance, ha! More like rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic.

Besides, shuffling a Cabinet is more like a rodeo than a square dance. Which is not to say that the Cabinet don't deserve a good roping, only that I doubt he's poke enough for those particular cows.

And as for his intentions towards our Arctic (the kid sister of Confederation), I'm not convinced they're entirely noble. It's a good thing she's frigid; as long as she stays that way.

I predict a disaster. On so many levels.
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