Tuesday, January 30, 2007

An Imaginary Conversation

"Good morning, thank you for calling Rainbow's End. My name is Kathy, how may I help you?"

"Uh, yeah... My name's [redacted] and I, uh... I called my coworker a faggot."

"Okay. I just need to ask you a few questions. Would that be alright?"

"Uh, yeah. Sure."

"Now, you say you called your coworker a faggot?"


"Is he gay?"


"Would you have called him this if you knew he was straight?"


"I see. And was this just the once, sir?"

"Uh, him, yeah, I guess."

"Would you say you throw that word around --"

"A lot. A LOT. Yeah, a lot."

"I see. And are you aware that insulting people isn't a very nice thing to do?"


"This coworker, did he ever insult you?"

"Not really."

"Now, what do you mean by that?"

"Well, he never called me names or anything."


"It was more the way he acted around me."

"Like how?"

"Like, he was usually a little cold, kinda snooty-like. Sometimes he could be a little snide when we had a [redacted] together."

"I see. And did he ever hear you using the word faggot?"

"Yeah, I guess a few times."

"I'm assuming you're unable to make the connection."

"No, I can hear you fine."

"The connection between your cavalier use of a hateful word and his attitude towards you."

"You think that's why the little bitch hates me? Fuck, that's so gay."


"What? Oh shit."


"Oh dude, you're not one too?"

"Sir, I told you my name when I answered your call."

"Yeah, but you said Kathy. I thought you were joking."

"Do I sound like I'm joking?"

"God, I wish."

"Normally sir the wait-list for this facility is eighteen months, but seeing as how you're an [redacted] I can get you in by the end of the week."
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