Thursday, September 02, 2010

Gratuitous Brunette: Keanu Reeves

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Whether or not birthday boy Keanu Reeves is a good actor is beside the point. Since such an assessment is necessarily subjective, as long as you've been moved by one of his performances he's good; if, even after you've watched him acting up a storm, you remain unmoved, then you can choose to blame it on his lack of talent. Or...

There's another theory, which I alone may hold: it's entirely possible that he was simply born with a modern voice. Such an affliction might have never been noticed if only his ambition as an actor didn't drive him to play historical characters. It's an illness which afflicts many of Hollywood's brightest stars; if you don't believe me, watch Kate Hudson in Almost Famous and then in The Four Feathers.

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, My Own Private Idaho, even The Matrix; I enjoyed all of them. Yet every time he opens his mouth in Dangerous Liaisons, Bram Stoker's Dracula, or Much Ado About Nothing I can barely suppress my gag reflex. I have yet to see Little Buddha all the way through for this very reason.

Until such time as a cure is discovered, it's the recommendation of the Pop Culture Institute that he stick to the contemporary and sci-fi movies; they serve him far better than any costume picture ever has, no matter how good he might look in a doublet and hose...
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1 comment:

Seumas Gagne said...

Modern voice. Hmm. I can't quite get behind that idea. As an adult language teacher, I struggle to get students to permit themselves to sound 'not like themselves' so as to pronounce another language correctly. I think it's the same thing. He's just so emotionally wound up in the sound of his voice that he can't allow it to be different to suit the role. It's a serious limitation as an actor, even though he's pretty.

Pretty ain't enough as far as I'm concerned.