Caught Hooker, Line, And Sinker

Officials in the Republican Party are breathing a sigh of relief tonight; not because they've had a day without a new scandal surfacing - let's face it, that ain't happening - but because for once they've had a male Senator accused of having sex with - get this! - women.

I know! I was as shocked as you are.

The junior Senator from Louisiana, David Vitter, has been accused of adultery (among other things) by Wendy Ellis; the Senator, naturally, has denied the allegations, which I'm sure he will undeny later, since undenial is so much more Republican than either admission or confession. I dunno, maybe it's a legal loophole or something.

Any new thoughts on the sanctity of marriage, Senator Two-Face?

Isn't it always the way? Finally they catch a halfway cute one with his pecker out and he's straight. But when Senator Larry "Crypt-Keeper" Craig gets an itch he can't scratch the only thing straight about him is the direction he heads for the nearest men's room.

I only hope it's not a smoke screen. You know, the Senator using a prostitute only to provide him with a perfect hetero alibi while he's on the loose and fondling dudes? I mean, I just hate to see a hooker treated so disrespectfully. I mean, a wife expects it...

Meanwhile, Ellis will tell her story, lavishly illustrated, in the feminist tome Hustler; no word on where Mrs. Vitter will peddle her tale of woe, but it will probably be to prominent Republican porno rag National Review.

(It's one thing to see National Review consorting with whores, but it does irk me to see a quality publication like Hustler tarnish itself by doing so. What's next - porn stars? Ah, but that's a story for another day...)

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