Beyond Bondi Beach: The Beauty of Australia

[Australia's epic Uluru, formerly known as "Ayer's Rock".]

Being part security guard and part magpie allows me unprecedented access to discarded shiny things. One such recent find was a copy of "Australian Geographic", a magazine devoted to the natural wonders of Australia.

Where else in one magazine could I learn about the magic of Uluru, the resurgent Wollemi pine, the world's most beautiful pest (the sulphur-crested cockatoo), or pioneering aviator Nancy Bird? In print, that is.

What an amazing hour I spent devouring this handsome magazine. With many more (issues and hours) to come, I hope.

[Find out more...]
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Royal News Roundup

• WILLS AND KATE SPLIT!



• QUEEN NOT WELCOME: QUEBEC



• WILLS PAL KILLED IN IRAQ

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Michael Kluckner's "Vancouver Remembered"

May I first offer my kudos to Whitecap Books for producing this handsome volume, which is destined to take its place on an ever-widening shelf offering tribute to our fair city. As with all products I review here, I paid for this book myself; it came to $53 with tax at Chapter's on Broadway.

Within, Kluckner's glowing watercolours are interspersed with file photos, editorial cartoons, and the sort of ephemera (postcards, menus, maps) that are essential in helping a place to create its own mythology. Since Vancouver's future as a world city now seems inevitable the time, it seems, has come to begin looking back, to the past that created it.

"Vancouver Remembered" essentially (though not slavishly) covers the period 1945-1986, although many of the paintings have a more recent provenance. Most of my firsthand knowledge of the city is from the era 1986 to the present, and I only began photographing the city in earnest in 2006, which makes this volume an especially valuable resource for me. It fills in the gaps in my own knowledge from the period just before I came to know it for myself.

Since its founding, the basic tension inherent in Vancouver has been between its role as a port and its reality as a garden. In my earliest memories of the place it is always half green and half grey. These days, of course, the grey is frowned upon; after all, we get enough of that from the sky. Yet now even the green is threatened, as much by weather as by commerce.

My earliest memories of Vancouver are of a quaint, tumbledown city. Development has certainly aided in the tumbling, as much as the incessant rain and landlord apathy. Currently the Gastown/Strathcona, Southeast False Creek/Mount Pleasant and Grandview neighbourhoods are most imperilled, and I'll be doing my part to preserve them, even if only in photographs.

Vancouver turns 125 in 2011. Seeing as Manhattan was founded in 1624, and there's precious little of that city from 1749 that remains today (or did, I daresay, even then), I'd say Vancouver has done an admirable job of conservation, especially since efforts to that end never began in earnest here until the 1980s. Still, developers have been ravenous.

In the past year, I have taken many photos of places now forever lost, which makes "Vancouver Remembered II" a virtual certainty twenty years hence.




[This pair of houses at W. 7th and Fir were painted by Michael Kluckner (they appear on page 153 of "Vancouver Remembered") and photographed by me at this time last year; they've since been torn down.]
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A Spot of Gratitude - Good Neighbours

In this instance, it's for my former neighbour Steve, who lived above me for three years and never made a peep.

Steve recently moved out. Why my landlords decided to rent to a roller-skating rhinoceros is beyond me. Why she insists on juggling those bowling balls when she clearly sucks at it is also beyond me; she should stick to the tap-dancing, at which she excels.

If you have good neighbours, take this moment to thank your lucky stars you don't have plaster raining down on you like I do.
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Dream Analysis, Anyone?

I'm sitting on the ground in a certain plaza at the edge of Stanley Park, despite the fact that there are benches. It's dark, obviously the middle of the night, but not cold. Pamela Anderson and a very hot young guy who looks a bit like Mika are there, also sitting on the ground. She's ignoring him, he's ignoring me, and all three of us are apparently waiting for something, not saying much. Suddenly, what looks like a very fat ferret comes scurrying out of the undergrowth and up on my lap, where it starts to nuzzle me. Soon, he's joined by a half a dozen others, and they all start peeping. The hot young guy is staring at Pam and trying to touch her breasts, but aside from swatting him away she ignores him, as she cheerfully tells me all about these friendly animals, which she called Furbies, but which actually look like a cross between a ferret and a weasel.
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Belinda Calls It Quits

It was with a certain amount of shock that I read Belinda Stronach is leaving politics so soon after entering it. Not alot, but some.

Idealism, however, doesn't seem to have motivated her. Citing the need to spend more time with her teenaged children, she recently whined that being in opposition is still a full-time job. Well, duh! Given the government we have, everyone in opposition should be working overtime. I'm sure the corporate sector won't be such a drain on her time; plutocrats are known for their support of working mothers.

I suspect the fact that the Conservatives look poised to take the next majority played no part in her decision. Magna, the business her father runs and which she one day hopes to run, is making some moves to take over Chrysler/Daimler. Her father may be looking to step down soon, so the conclusions can be drawn not from what she says but from what she does.

Nevertheless, a couple of years in government has definitely made the Belinda brand less Newmarket and more up-market. High-profile relationships with Bill Clinton (strictly platonic - she's too pretty for him), Tie Domi, and Peter MacKay were the talk of the papers for weeks, and so the decision may have more to do with finding that private/public balance with which many celebrities struggle.

It's always a shame to lose a female politician, even one as shallow and dissembling as Belinda Stronach. As shallow and dissembling as she is, she could have been one of the greats.

Still, I wouldn't count her out; if she could only marry a Trudeau (not to mention stay Liberal) she might be Prime Minister yet.
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A Humble Attempt To Ease International Tension

I'll admit it, when I was younger I indulged in it quite a bit. I mean, all the other kids were doing it - I thought it would make me look cool. As I've gotten older, though, I've begun to regret it more and more.

I'm talking, of course, about anti-Americanism. Why? What did you think I meant?

The fact of the matter is, as I've read more and more history, I've come to the conclusion that anti-nationalism is about as inevitable as nationalism. If any country sticks their head over the parapet and proclaims "We're number one" a whole host of other countries will be just as likely to begin throwing number two.

As complicated as human lives are, with their unspoken motivations and constant myth-making, the lives of nations are even more so. It's very easy to emphasize what is most disliked and thus present a very unbalanced view of things. Yet few nations on Earth are not guilty of exactly the sorts of things they're most likely to condemn the United States for doing.

That's especially easy when the regime in question is as venal as the one currently toppling in Washington. Yet within each specific criticism is the answer to why it was made. "Zey're bullies" say the French, having never heard of Napoleon, and conveniently forgetting their own head-waiters as well. "Raging imperialists," the British might sniff, no doubt jealous, yet without a hint of irony. "Don't forget greedy," Canada might be eager to add, as it clings like cream (or scum) to the 100 mile strip above their common border, quietly slurping its economy northwards in exchange for abundant raw materials.

Each of these accusations may be true, but in making them much more has been revealed about the accuser than the accused. If I call a coworker "lazy", chances are it's to deflect attention from me, since I've been a little slack at my job, only he's been worse. At best, it's passive-aggressive, and when the best thing you can say about something is that it's passive-agressive, it's not that great.

There may be bigotry in the United States but there is bigotry everywhere; Europeans are able to sit on their comfortable duffs and bitch today specifically because America has been relieving its previously medieval overcrowding for the last 200 years. The solution is in understanding, not name-calling.

It's easy for non-Americans to admire, say, FDR, without admiring the national circumstances which fostered him; it's even easier to criticize all of America for the indiscretions of a few politicians rather than the politicians themselves. Sure, there are over 62 million people who voted for George W. Bush in the last election, which leaves about 138 million who didn't.

In this day and age, when real problems threaten the lives of everyone on the planet, standing around pointing fingers at this one and that one really does get in the way of solutions. As I've always said, it doesn't matter who has caused a problem, so much as who fixes it, since we are all to blame, in our own way. That doesn't automatically absolve the guilty parties of their crime, but when the crime committed (be it terrorism, global warming, or whatever) is an equal threat to those who caused it, solutions are more important than accusations.

So, if you'll just pop my Nobel Peace Prize in the mail, that'd be lovely.

[BBC via Seumas]
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Stem Cells Shown To Cure Diabetes

Too bad there's no cure for ignorance...



[via Towleroad]
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RIP Kurt Vonnegut

"What should young people do with their lives today? Many things, obviously. But the most daring thing is to create stable communities in which the terrible disease of loneliness can be cured."

Kurt Vonnegut
1922-2007

[Wikipedia]
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A Fire That Won't Go Out

[Blogmaster's Warning: Sarcasm and exasperation often don't show up in the written word, yet this piece is dripping with both of them. Please don't bombard me with messages about how self-loathing I am; I know that already. For the record, just because I'm self-loathing doesn't mean the cause of it is internalized homophobia.]

I had to read the accompanying article a couple of times, because it contained so many incongruities. It seems a gay firefighter in a rural part of BC is suing the local fire department for anti-gay bias.

First of all, yeah. You live in the country, and work with men whose machismo means more to them than their soul. They put up nudie pictures and tell fag jokes. Yeah?

This has just sealed the deal. I'm announcing the release of my hip-hop album right now, even before it's written or recorded. Why not? Why not wade right in where you know from the start that you're not wanted, put yourself in harm's way, then complain about it?

That it happens doesn't make it okay, but you don't have any right to be shocked about it when it does, especially when you had to know from day one that it would. I worked one day as a photographer's assistant on a firefighter's calendar, and I could have told him this would happen.

What, was the police department not hiring? Good luck Mr. Mackenzie in changing the entire world all by yourself. I tried that once and it got old fast.

BC has no Human Rights Commission, but it did prior to 2002; when Gordon Campbell's Liberals were elected it was one of the first things they abolished. Currently we have a Human Rights Tribunal. In the old days, when reporting systemic bigotry such as this, investigators would interview past and present employees in an attempt to get to the source of the problem. Under the current system, the two parties get an hour or two face time with an adjudicator, and if the complainant doesn't agree to the adjudicator's findings he can be charged with the cost of the entire proceeding, usually upwards of $80,000.

I also work in a homophobic industry. I listen to fag jokes all day long. I don't say anything because if I'm ever in a dangerous situation I want to know that my backup is coming, not hanging back and laughing at the about-to-be-dead fag. And I certainly don't go to some hollow government agency where no one gives a shit about me.

Of course, that's just me. I've always been something of a libertarian where government is concerned.

The smartest thing David Mackenzie did here was going to the press. It'll get better results faster, and be more likely to bring about actual change. Going to the Human Rights Tribunal is strictly a formality to underline the seriousness of the complaint, and to make the press take it more seriously.

[S O U R C E]
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Now Showing - "The B-Team"

All kinds of funny, and totally pop culture.
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Queen of Canada Rededicates Vimy Memorial

The following is the text of the speech made 9 April at the rededication of the Vimy Memorial in France:



Ladies and gentleman, in any national story there are moments and places, sometimes far from home, which in retrospect can be seen as fixed points about which the course of history turns; moments which distinguish that nation forever. Those who seek the foundations of Canada's distinction would do well to begin here at Vimy.

Until this day 90 years ago, Vimy Ridge had been impregnable; a lesson learned at terrible cost to the armies of France and Britain. For the Allies, this ridge had become a symbol of futility and despair. It was against this forbidding challenge that the four divisions of the Canadian Corps were brought together as a single army for the first time.

In a matter of a few hours, on this cold and inclement Easter Monday morning, the Canadians became masters of the ridge and accomplished what many had thought impossible. Their victory was the fruit not only of an ingenious battle plan drawn up by Canadian commanders, but especially of courage and determination with which Canadian soldiers carried out their mission.

No fewer than four Canadians were awarded the Victoria Cross for conspicuous bravery during the battle, though it could easily be said that every soldier in the field demonstrated conspicuous bravery, such was the verve of the Canadian attack. It was a stunning victory. More, in capturing this formidable objective, the Canadian Corps transformed Vimy Ridge from a symbol of despair into a source of inspiration. After two-and-a-half years of deadly stalemate, it now seemed possible that the Allies would prevail and peace might one day be restored.

Here on this hallowed ground, where so much has been sacrificed, we're commemorating their courage and achievement. Their victory gave more than hope, it allowed Canada, which deserved it so much, to take its place on the world stage as a proud, sovereign nation, strong and free. Canada's commemorative monument at Vimy shows Canada's great strength and its commitment to freedom and also shows the deep solidarity that links Canada and France.

And lastly, it certainly shows the bravery, courage and sacrifice of the courageous Canadians that inspired a young nation to become a great nation.

To their eternal remembrance, to Canada, and to all who would serve the cause of freedom, I rededicate this magnificently restored memorial.

Bless you Ma'am.

The Vimy Memorial was originally dedicated by Edward VIII as King of Canada on 26 July 1936.
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Roseanne Barr Criticizes "Evangelical" Gays

Recently, while guest-hosting on a radio show, Roseanne Barr said:

Never once in my 54 years have I ever once heard a gay or lesbian person who’s politically active say one thing about anything that was not about them. They don’t care about minimum wage, they don’t care about any other group other than their own self because you know, some people say being gay and lesbian is a totally narcissistic thing and sometimes I wonder.

I’ve never heard any of them say anything except for “accept me ‘cause I’m gay.”

It’s just, it’s screwed. It’s no different than the evangelicals, it’s the same mindset. They want you to accept Jesus and you guys want us to all believe it’s okay to be gay. And a lot of us, a lot of them, I do, I don’t give a damn who anybody has sex with, as long as they’re not underage and an animal. I don’t give a damn, it’s none of my damn business. I’m just sick of all the divisiveness, it’s not getting any of us anywhere.

Of course, there are times when the ability to see all sides of an issue is a hindrance. In fact, most times it's a hindrance, since the modern fetish is for a certain fascism of opinion, especially when it comes to identity politics. I'd love to be able to stand up and loudly declaim that it's "my way or the highway" for once, but I cannot. Damn my open mind.

Strictly speaking, what Roseanne says is true, albeit specious. I have no doubt that the gays she's met are like that; most of the ones I meet are. Gay men, I mean. Others, myself and my friends included, care deeply about the whole spectrum of social justice, including queer issues (mainly because if we don't include them no one else will). Ghetto gays, not so much - though I also accept that they have their reasons for being so one-note.

As for lesbians, there isn't a charity or worthy cause anywhere that doesn't owe at least some of its membership to them, whether it's rape relief, eradicating poverty, or animal rights. I believe that inside every lesbian is an angel. In fact, I think the world should be run by lesbians over the age of 50. But that's just my opinion - I could be wrong.

Most gays of course will have their thongs in a wad over Roseanne's comments for a variety of reasons, and the ones who shout the loudest will be the ones hit a little too close to home by them. It doesn't bother me because, for my own sake, she's wrong. There's no point at my getting mad at her because she's simply not describing me. She has a point, and what she said has the power to ignite a bit of a debate in the gay male community, provided they can do it and get it over with before the next circuit party hits town.

As for "accept me because I'm gay": fuck that. Accept me because you want to; if you don't want to I couldn't care less. Gays (for example) are pretty well hated in the black community - especially hip-hop. It doesn't weaken my support for their civil rights - or my enjoyment of hip-hop - only makes me sad that the discriminated-against feel the need to pay that bigotry forward.

I've always loved Roseanne, specifically because she runs her mouth, and these comments don't change a thing. I'm not going out and burning my "Roseanne" DVDs and boycotting her or anything. I only hope that, in the fallout from this, she gets a chance to meet the kind of people she says she's never met: passionate, concerned, well-rounded gays. Even in LA.

In the words of her great foe Judy Tenuta: "It could happen."
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Speaking of Witch...

I don't know why I let this story get away from me, since this is another thing I've been waiting ages for... The final book.

I guess I figured I'd let the initial hoo-hah die down before contributing to the swelling momentum leading up to the July 21st publication date. Anything I might have to say could easily get lost in the initial press frenzy; I feel much safer leading the second or third wave. Or at least, that's what I tell myself.

I was a bit of a Johnny-Come-Lately to the series. I never read them until the release of "The Prisoner of Azkaban", when I bought and read the first three books at once. For that reason, I tend to think of the first three as one book, and certainly they do read that way. Lengthwise, the first three books fit neatly into "The Order of the Phoenix" with room left over.

One of the rituals I've developed is to reread the previous books before the new one is released. I think I'll be doing this again, especially now that I have the blog, since the blog has such a voracious appetite for content. This seems like as good a time as any for a retrospective, which I will be offering my readers as I make my way through them.

Another ritual is going down to the bookstore at midnight on the date of release and mingling with all the diehards and weirdos. I do it because it's good to be among my people. I love the idea of being caught up in something with millions of others, whether it's the series finale of "Friends" or even a hockey game. Such is the unifying effect of pop culture.

"Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" hits bookstores at the witching hour, midnight on Saturday 21 July. If this book is anything like the last one, I should close the back cover on the Monday following.
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"The Queen" on DVD April 24th

Because I'm that kind of person, I never saw "The Queen" in movie theatres, even though I was dying to. I always say it's because I don't like seeing movies in the cineplex - which is partly true - but mainly it's because I hate going anywhere there are lots of people dating. Having to walk in there alone is more than I can bear; I might as well wear a sign that says "Loser".

So the sad fact is, no one I know wanted to see it with me, so I had to wait nearly 7 months to see it myself. Obviously, there's something character building in delayed gratification, and my patience is about to pay off. "The Queen" hits stores on April 24th, and my DVD player scant minutes after that.

This year is the tenth anniversary of the tragic events depicted in the film, a week which was burned into my cerebral cortex forever. I'm dying to see for myself how they're depicted.
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Just Because: Charo

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John Travolta Is Hardly Divine

Why oh why could these dolls not have been made of the original cast? John Waters, why hast thou forsaken me? Will MacFarlane Toys hear my keening cries and ease my pain?



Oh, I'm still gonna buy them, or at least the Tracy and Edna. Normally I wouldn't, but in 1977 my mother refused to let me have a Marie Osmond doll to go with my Donny, then went apeshit in 1979 when I brought home a Princess Leia.

So it's her fault really.

[A Socialite's Life]
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A Heaping Helping of Anti-Canadian Sentiment

Much is made of anti-American sentiment, especially, of course, by Americans. In fact, I've talked about it so much, I'm beginning to resemble Papa Smurf. Of course, there's absolutely no anti-Canadian sentiment in America. Or is there?

This from Gawker seems to indicate that there just might be. Where Americans aren't outright ignorant about Canada (do y'all live in igloos?) they tend to have the viewpoint of articles like the one I've cited. Not that Canadians aren't also evil about Canada, it's just that the ones who are either a) clam up about it whenever there are Americans around, b) move to the United States or c) are Tories, and therefore constantly conniving to sell us to them anyway.

Now, as I have stated again and again whenever there's any Yank-bashing around me, there are gross people everywhere, and in my misanthropy is a message everyone can embrace: ultimately, it's behaviour that makes people horrible, not their place of birth. I have met lovely Americans, Canadians, Australians, even British. Not nearly as many as the horrible ones I've met, but then again, I don't like 99% of people.

I blame that foul smell of nitrogen in the air. It's bound to make a species hateful. Such a pretty planet, such an ugly species running it...
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Herb Ritts Gallery To Open In 2010

The Museum of Fine Arts in Boston is establishing a permanent gallery honouring photographer Herb Ritts, who died in 2002. The usual criticisms have been raised, namely that Ritts' work is closer to pop culture than it is to fine art, which is likely the same thing they said about the Mona Lisa while it was drying.

Ritts' work, if anything, is the bridge between pop culture and fine art; all pop culture fades, and as it does whatever is most loved in it is then elevated to the status of fine art. His pictures are iconic and much loved - the ultimate measure of art - ergo, end of story.

A donation of $2.5 million US and 189 images has been made by his foundation to establish the space. A showing of his work at the same museum in 1996 drew a quarter million visitors. Being the curmudgeon I am, I can't help thinking that the fact that Ritts was gay, as well as the fact that he died of AIDS, as much as his popularity, is what has drawn the ire of the artsy crowd.

Not that you'd ever get me to say such a thing out loud, that is. Photography has always been given short shrift by the Art with a Capital A crowd anyway, so it could just be plain snobbery rather than homophobia that has their blue stockings in a wad.

[S O U R C E]
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Vimy Ridge Remembered

This Easter Weekend is the 90th anniversary of the attack on Vimy Ridge towards the end of the First World War. Nations are born on the battlefield, and Vimy Ridge was Canada's baptism in blood. Canadian troops lobbed over one million shells at German emplacements that week, with a success rate of over 80%. It took 100,000 Canadians to take and hold the ridge; 3,598 were killed and 7,104 wounded.

The Great War has always been a special fascination of mine, probably because I had the privilege of knowing a veteran of that conflict. My great-grandfather Charlie Stroklund (who died when I was 16 aged 88) was a sapper with the 10th Field Regiment out of Regina, and saw action throughout France and Belgium, most poignantly at the Somme.

Charlie was a big man (6 foot 4 and over 200 pounds) but he could never talk about what he saw there. Whenever anything reminded him of it he'd dissolve into tears, even half a century later. It was a point of contention between my mother, my grandmother and me when, as a young writer, I was always eager to glean from him what I could. I don't believe Charlie ever minded my pestering him like they did, but there was never much he was able to tell me.

Fortunately, as an old writer, I'm able to honour his survival with my words. Returning to Canada, profoundly affected by what he'd been through, he nonetheless perservered, and with his bare hands proceeded to help build this country. His contribution? Dozens of Saskatchewan's iconic grain elevators.
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