Books Wormed - "Born To Kvetch" by Michael Wex

Maybe you know that sick feeling when a book you're enjoying suddenly goes over your head. Then again, maybe you don't.

I do, and this is its cover.

Now, when it comes to linguistics, I'm not exactly cunning... Despite recognising most of the words in Born To Kvetch I'll be damned if I can figure out why the author has chosen such complicated patterns to put them in. I probably would have given up on it by now, but I'm really interested in the subject. Besides which, the parts I can understand are really good.

Alas, the further into it I read, the farther apart those bits I can understand are getting.

It's good to get your brain out of its familiar rut from time to time; if you're me, you enjoy making your brain the consistency of pizza dough on a regular basis.

I may have met my match here.
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Queen's Visit To Jamestown Imminent, Eminent

It was nearly 50 years ago Elizabeth II first visited Jamestown on the occasion of its 350th anniversary (shown above). Once again the Commonwealth of Virginia is all agog over a royal visit, this time for the 400th anniversary.

The Queen's complete schedule is available here. Her Majesty's itinerary includes the visit to Olde Jamestowne, trips to the Kentucky Derby, Goddard Space Centre, William and Mary College, and a garden party and state dinner at the White House, among others.

I really enjoyed the stories about Jamestown in the May 2007 issue of National Geographic, which can be enjoyed online here. I learned about, among other things, Columbian exchange, a concept which was completely unknown to me before I folded back that iconic yellow-bordered cover.

The Royal visit commences May 3rd and finishes on the 8th; count on the Pop Culture Institute for full coverage of the Queen's fourth official visit to the United States.
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RIP Tom Poston

Winner of three Air Medals in WWII, Tom Poston first came to the public's attention on The Tonight Show starring Steve Allen, at the dawn of television. His persona varied from bumbling to sharp-tongued but no matter the character, one thing was certain: Tom Poston could be counted on to deliver the laughs.

Our thoughts go out to his widow, Suzanne Pleshette.
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The Curse of Beltane

Thanks to a gargantuan effort at character building over the past couple of years, I have managed to reduce the days in the year in which I feel sorry for myself from all of them to about a half a dozen: New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day, Pride Day, my birthday, and May 1st. All are days when there is an extra emphasis placed on couplehood (over and above the usual).

Why May 1st, you might ask. Simply put, May 1st is Beltane, which, among other things, can be seen as a celebration of all that is lush and carnal in Nature. Certainly, the bees are shtupping the flowers, and the skies are filled with fat little birds preparing their nests. Tis a lusty time, to be sure, just not a great one to be alone.

On the human side of things, the first warm days mean that long-covered skin is gradually being uncovered. Couples wander about rapt in each other's attention in ways they don't seem to do the rest of the year. This means I spend a lot of time looking at the sidewalk, rather than be bombarded with this particular failing of mine around every corner.

Of course, Nature does provide an ample distraction. After many months of looking up at bare branches, the simple sight of leaves on the trees is spell-binding. The world, in a lot of ways, seems better at this time of year. All the seasons have their charms, but the other three seem to have to try to be as charming as spring is naturally.

So why a curse? Surely that's a harsh word to use against a time of year that clearly has me enamoured. Well, for an earthy person such as me, the sensory overload is a real test of character. I enjoy the aesthetics of the season - alone - and I revel in the rest of its sensations, reminding myself over and over that the only thing life guarantees us is ourselves.

As I've said, it's a momentary thing, a couple of days' melancholy in the midst of supernatural beauty, which, unlike the other days I mentioned, provides considerable comfort of its own. I mean, consider Valentine's Day: you feel like crap, and besides that, it's February. Throw in math and you have my idea of Hell.

Every year I believe in the Curse of Beltane less, and every year it weakens. It's no coincidence that every year, I believe in myself more, and surely that has something to do with it. It's all a bit moot, given that I never meet anyone with even the potential for reciprocal attraction; it's just good to vent any excess neurosis from time to time, so why not today?
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Britain Offering Terrorists Plum Hostage

I can believe that Prince Harry will be shipped out to Iraq - I don't like it, but anyone who joins the Army in a time of war can reasonably expect to be shipped anywhere, even a war zone such as Iraq or Afghanistan.

What I cannot believe is that a professional army would deploy any soldier whose presence is likely to be distracting, as well as one who's been targeted for capture by Shi'ite militia as Prince Harry. I cannot help but wonder at what's really behind this.

You've taken the macho shit a little too far when you'd risk a constitutional crisis and the lives of untold troops to make a point. Stupid war...
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Join The Campaign For "Little Britain" In NYC

Jolly good! Check out the campaign for a "Little Britain" in the Big Apple. One thing is for sure: Greenwich Village is one village where you'll never be the only gay.
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Michael's Day Out: New Westminster & Bear Creek Park

All week the city had been doused in the most torrential of rains. Even for a place where it rains as much as it does in Vancouver it was bad - a steady, heavy pelting of rain, the kind of rain that soaks you to the soul. It was build a boat and find pairs of animals time, people. Seriously.

Despite this, I had every intention of going out to visit my new friend John in the suburbs on Sunday to take pictures, rain or shine. Imagine my surprise when I awoke Saturday to a gorgeous blast of sunshine; when the same sunshine prevailed on Sunday it wasn't merely double the pleasure, it was an exponential thing. I don't know the math, but you get my meaning.



I took the above photo of Chee-chee-yoh-hee (The Lions) from the platform of the Broadway SkyTrain station, during a breather from the crushing bus ride there and the crushing SkyTrain ride to New Westminster. Honestly, 2PM on a Sunday and it was worse than a Friday rush hour. Translink sucks, and not in the good way; in defiance of the laws of physics, it also blows, in a manner which is equally unsatisfactory.



I can't resist a statue, in this case one of Matthew Baillie Begbie, first Chief Justice of British Columbia. It's an appropriate choice, as well, as New Westminster is gradually emerging from a period of lawlessness and urban decay that is unworthy of the province's first city.



Despite the number of clearly troubled people shambling about on the streets, and the preponderance of decayed brick buildings on Columbia Street (where the city's two SkyTrain stations are), New Westminster is truly undergoing a Gastown/Yaletown kind of gentrification. I'd say it's at the mid-point; there is much left to be done, but much has been done already.

The decay is in the downtown area only, though. The residential area, which I will be photographing later in the summer, is a sumptuous fantasy of Victorian/Edwardian homes and gardening unrivalled in the Lower Mainland. If I had to live anywhere in the region outside of Vancouver, I would live in New Westminster, if only to satisfy my fetish for architecture.



I met John in New West, and after a fortifying coffee we made our way over the Fraser River into Surrey, to Bear Creek Park. I figured the previous week's rain would leave the place glowingly green and I was right. The park was also very busy, but large enough that the crowds there never seemed overwhelming. The park was relatively unscathed by this winter's storms.



While there, John and I enjoyed the opportunity to photograph many plants, from towering trees to tiny flowers...



I can never resist the opportunity to photograph a squirrel, especially not a gray. This one posed beautifully, and later came to within a metre of me where I'd crouched to take this picture. Since I didn't have any food, and wouldn't feed a wild animal anyway, it soon scampered off.



Not only did I get my second chance to photograph a bald eagle in as many months, this particular beauty was calling a considerable amount, which is a thrilling sound, even if it's a freaky kind of thrill. Once heard, the sound never leaves you. It would perch here, near its nest, call out a half dozen times, make a dozen circles in the air, then repeat; an awesome sight.



We made another bird friend that day too, a species I've never photographed because I've never seen one before. If I had to guess, I'd say it was a male western Rufous-sided Towhee. I took so many pictures of him, I'm sure he's still bragging about it to his buddies. Because he was likely guarding a nearby nest, John and I were able to get closer than we usually would.



Finally, the light began to fail, and a near-full new moon rose. John and I retired to the nearest Tim Horton's so I could eat and we could review our afternoon's efforts. He's new to digital photography, and doesn't like the digital camera he has, but he was able nonetheless to get some amazing pictures despite the frustration. We have a similar eye when it comes to work, so we complemented each other well on what was our first expedition.

All in all, it was a productive and wonderful day. We had some discussion about next week's excursion, and seemed to settle on Gastown.

So we shall see...
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BOY OH BOY

Troubled pop star Boy George has been arrested - again - this time on charges of false imprisonment, sexually harassing and assaulting a male escort he'd hired as a model.

Now, admittedly, I'm no expert in S&M. Okay, I've got the M part down, but the S... Not so much.

Anyway, even I know the secret is in consensuality and negotiation. Just because you hire a guy for sex doesn't mean he's up for this kind of thing. I suppose my unenlightened attitude means I'll be learning a thing or two about the S now...

Just in case, my safe word is 'Stephen Harper'.

[S O U R C E]
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Citygate Cache Uncovered

Vancouver police uncovered an "extraordinary" cache of weapons and materials used in the making of explosives in a condo at Citygate (shown above) in Vancouver this weekend. Police, inexplicably, say the find is neither gang- nor terrorist-related.

Okay...

[S O U R C E]
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The Son Also Rises

Justin Trudeau, eldest son of former Prime Minister Pierre Elliott Trudeau, has been nominated to represent the Liberals in the Montreal riding of Papineau. It was a slim victory - 54% - and hard fought.

There are no words to describe how good this news is; not even I could hyperbolise it.

[S O U R C E]
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Now Showing - David Campbell's "Buck Man Knows"

It's been my pleasure these past few weeks to feature the music and videos of David Campbell. Here, then, is another one.
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Project Civil City: An Update

Once again, I would encourage any of you Vancouverites out there who might be free on Tuesday night to head out to the Main Library downtown and attend this forum sponsored by Project Civil City.

I was recently contacted by one of the organisers, who disabused some of the implications I or my commenters might have made, namely that the City of Vancouver was in any way involved in the meeting or the organisation sponsoring it. Googling "Project Civil City" leads first to the City's website, which may have led to some of this confusion. That and the fact that the Mayor's name is in great big letters at the top of the front page.

The clarification, left as a comment on the post linked below, says:

Hi there,

Nice to see one of our posters on your blog!

Just wanted to clarify that the civilcity.ca webpage and the debate session have been set up by the Vancouver Public Space Network... which is a volunteer group. We're not affiliated with the City of Vancouver. To the best of my knowledge, the City doesn't have a web-page on civil city.

[Blogmaster's Note: It's a News Release.]

Our intent in taking a more neutral position on this debate was to allow some of the other key players in the discussion have their say without biasing the debate process upfront.

Thanks for the comments on the graphic sensibilities too… like everything else we do, it was made possible through lots of volunteer time and effort. If you’d be interested in helping on public space related projects such as this feel free to drop us a line: info@vancouverpublicspace.ca.

Best,

Andrew P. (VPSN)

Honestly, I wish I could attend, and will be doing my best to send someone in my place, preferably someone with a tape recorder, so I can hear for myself what's being said, unfiltered by some intermediary and their own opinions. Even the most trusted source in this case is still a second-hand one. Naturally, I will be conducting further research into this matter.

Though the poster states that Micheal Vonn of the BC Civil Liberties Union will be a panelist, I am still uncertain to what extent the right will try to grab control of Project Civil City in its ongoing attempt to govern behaviour, rather than seeking to instil civility on a voluntary basis. Vancouver Public Space Network has a very thorough website, worth exploring, which looks initially promising.

A more civil city is an admirable aim, and I'm looking forward to doing my part. Why, just the other day I was almost run over, and I never even flipped the driver the bird or anything.

Previously:

Project Civil City: Good Idea or Totally Fucking Dumb?
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Hating on Harper (And Loving It)

It's not in my Nature to agree with Toronto, but whenever they agree with me, I'll happily go along with it.

I have no idea what encouraged the Toronto Star's Scott Reid to sharpen his knife in this case, but I must say that his effort to plunge it in are well-received here.

I have always said that Stephen Harper was a tyrant; I have been patronised and mocked for that position. Now, it seems, others are waking up to that fact.

[S O U R C E]
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Quake Rattles UK

An earthquake registering 4.7 on the Richter scale rumbled through southwestern England, toppling chimneys and shaking nerves, but causing no serious injury or death.


[S O U R C E]
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Jack Valenti's Dead

As evidenced by the title of this post, I refuse to let death turn me into a hypocrite. Especially not someone else's.

Jack Valenti brought censorship to the mainstream. While the ratings system he pioneered through the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) undoubtedly made it clearer what sort of content one could expect on the way in to the multiplex, it did so in a reductive way, by edict of a committee whose decisions were anything but transparent. As well, the process by which those ratings were assigned was fraught with corruption.

The MPAA's handling of sexual content versus violent content was responsible for two decades of continued homophobia in Hollywood. In that time, any depiction of two men kissing would earn an automatic R, whereas you could shoot the two men and still have a PG.
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What Is A Boy To Do?

This past month, wherever I've gone, I've been absolutely beset by people enquiring after the state of my writing.

I'm not exaggerating when I say it's been dozens. (Well, a dozen, but still...) I point out to them that I'm writing a blog, which takes considerable time and energy. At which point most of them act like they've never heard of blogs, the Internet, or personal computers.

What they really want to know is: am I still writing fiction? Ah, fiction... The last bastion of the masochist. First, last, best...

I then explain to them (v e r y s l o w l y) that I sometimes write as many as a thousand words a day on my blog, and it takes just hours to find the right photos and stuff to go with each post, especially since the hamster that runs my processor chip recently took up smoking. I then do whatever I have to to change the subject, lest I jinx it for myself and everybody.

Yes, I have been writing fiction. No, I don't hold out any hope it'll ever see the light of day. Yes, it is fucking brilliant, but then it would be coming from me. This is the point where the Ego Monster appears, and I have to catch it, kill it, skin it, then prepare and enjoy a lovely Ego Monster stew for lunch. For the record, it tastes nothing like chicken.

What most of my fans who clamour for my glamour fail to understand is that a) there are only 24 hours in a day, b) as I am basically indolent I insist on wasting at least six of them on sleep, c) nine or ten get wasted on work and a couple more on things like being neurotic about my appearance, so then d) why would I spend the rest typing away at something that'll never get published when I could be spending the time on something that is being published, namely THIS BLOG!

Sorry for yelling; it's not even angry yelling, it's funny yelling, like Kirstie Alley. (Funny, but from an angry place.)

I assure you, I am not being negative in this, but I do not have the credentials to be a novelist, period. To be a blogger you don't need credentials, just a computer and an attitude, and what I lack in computer (lovely as it is) I more than make up for in attitude. Following the path of least resistance, I find myself here, being irresistible. ; )

Nevertheless, I have a planet's worth of characters inside me, and if I don't write them out they take over, so I write.

Hopefully, by the time I can afford to go to university and get my degree so that a publisher or an agent will deign to talk to me, I will have many such novels waiting in the wings to support me in my dotage; my dotage being that time of my life when, having written several novels, I'm unfit for any other work, and mostly suited to drooling in the corner.

Ah... Those'll be the days.
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Just Because - "Mahna Mahna" by Jim Henson's Muppets

I almost don't need any text to accompany this classic bit of Muppets mania from the first episode of "The Muppet Show" in 1975.
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Seattle Pride Saved!

Yay! Now if only my company can save me a couple of days off to attend it, I plan to be there to rock the thing.
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Programming Suggestion: "Celebrity Grudge Match"

It's the Feud That Refuses To Die...



So why not turn it into a game show?

Hosted by Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell, each episode features a famously squabbling pair of celebrities who will once and for all have it out on national TV.

See the depravity! Hear the shocking language! Enjoy the degradation!

Paris vs. Lindsay! Kim vs. Alec! Britney vs. Her Career!

Only on Fox!
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Project Civil City: Good Idea or Totally Fucking Dumb?

While I am generally on the side of civility (shut up, you bitches, I am too) I'm always a little worried when it looks like the right-wing is trying for a power grab. Getting to the root of social issues like homelessness is something I will always support, but bashing the homeless in the usual callous manner of the right, of course, I cannot do.

Also, the matter of manners cannot be addressed with by-laws, especially if they're not enforced.

It's too bad I won't be able to attend Project Civil City's meeting. I'd be interested in seeing who shows up and what gets discussed. Given that a member of the Board of Trade will be there, and that the impetus behind the entire project is likely the Vancouver Olympic Committee, I am instantly skeptical.

Maybe I can talk one of my more perceptive friends into attending, and submitting a report.

[To find out more, visit the website]
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